This past month we’ve had a couple of opportunities to be surrounded by like-minded people, at least in respect to how our children are educated (there is still PLENTY of diversity in other respects: religion, politics, interests etc). And the biggest thing I have to say about it is…it’s really wonderful and energizing.

When you live a life that is so far outside mainstream culture it can get pretty hard. No matter how confident you are in your parenting choices when you are surrounded only by disapproving extended family and/or neighbors and friends you can’t help but let it get to you. And when I say let it get to you…I mean questioning your life, your choices, your instincts but I don’t mean in that good way we should all be questioning things. I mean that negative, crappy, what’s wrong with me and am I a bad parent kind of way.

Thankfully, I’ve started to really understand that I can choose who I associate with and that Jeff, the kids and I have the power to limit contact with individuals we don’t feel good around. We can also choose who we DO want to put our time and energy into. And that is exactly what these last couple of weeks have been about.

I have lots of cool stuff coming for the blog over the next week or two (interviews with Dr. Peter Gray, Ren Allen, Carsie Blanton, Erica Goldson & Brenna McBroom). Right now I’m sitting in a hotel room. A hotel we spent the last couple of nights at as we attended the Northeast Unschooling Conference (NEUC). Two weekends before we were camping out on a family’s front yard for another, more informal, unschooling gathering.

Here are a few photos from both the NEUC and the Ashleigh’s Campout hopefully they will tide you over until I can put together the interviews I did here at the conference and a number of other blog entries I’m working on.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

SO much going on lately!! Most of it great…we’ve had some bumps in the road but who hasn’t? Here are a couple of quick highlights. You’ll likely be hearing about more about a lot of these things in upcoming blog entries.

• We are headed to the Northeast Unschooling Conference this week.
• I’ll be interviewing both Ren Allen & Peter Gray @ the conference
• I get to see my young friend Erica Goldson in a few days & I’m thrilled she’ll get to meet Jeff & the kids!
• My gallery exhibit will be showing through November 1st if you haven’t seen it yet there is still opportunity. Check out the info here.
• I have only TWO months left on my Something Beautiful project (taking 10,000 photos in one year’s time) and close to 4,000 photos left to take!!
• I wrote my first magazine article this past week. I’ll post a link when I have one to post
• I’m working on my second magazine article this one is unsolicited though so we’ll see if it get’s picked up.
• I have been talking to Ian of Free Talk Live about interviewing HIM. Hopefully that will work out soon too.
• I’m working on a new book…should be done by Christmas, if not sooner.
• And if you haven’t heard California wants to jail parents for kids’ truancy. Seriously, read about it.

There is more but that’s all I’ve got in me tonight.

Peace,

Kelly

Dinner for Schmucks, promo photo

I did put a mask on for about five minute but found it too itchy and thought it was hard to breathe. Griffin helped me (no sweeping just carrying boxes upstairs and outside) but thankfully only for a very short time.

Last night I was coughing and coughing and coughing. I did not feel myself at all. I started getting a little nervous and looked up exposure to mouse droppings. And guess what came up. It’s dangerous and there is nothing you can do but wait and see. I haven’t had any kind of flu-like symptoms but I’m sore as hell and my chest has been heavy since yesterday. I feel like a freakin’ idiot.

I am a cautious person. It’s not like I’m some kind of throw caution to the wind person. I may appear that way but I usually have thought and thought and analyzed the risks and benefits of whatever it is I’m doing. That goes doubly so when it comes to health and physical risk. I’m cautious. I’m also not one to freak out at the slightest boo boo. Generally, I downplay symptoms and physical problems…when it comes to myself even more so but this time I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was at least a little worried.

If you EVER have to clean a garage, basement, whatever, with mouse poop, please take precautions and bleach it and wear a mask. Don’t assume you’ll be fine. You might be but why risk it? At a minimum you’ll save yourself the stress of wondering whether you will be.

And…in a very amusing and surreal twist…Jeff and I decided to take the kids to a movie for a break from the work. We picked Dinner for Schmucks. We chose the movie because it was a comedy (we needed some laughs) and it stars Paul Rudd and Steve Carell. That is ALL we knew about the movie, never saw a preview.

You could imagine my surprise when we made when the opening scene featured a man creating art pieces with taxidermies of mice.

The movie is about a man, who wants to impress his girlfriend and get a promotion at work. He gets an invite to an exclusive dinner with the bosses. The participants are supposed to invite an idiot. I’ve been feeling like an idiot myself since last night. The the idiot he chooses makes art with dead mice. The movie was hilarious but it was one of those odd coincidences that made me feel like I was in the middle of some surreal dream.

Why did we pick that movie? We rarely go to see a comedy in the theater. We usually reserve the theater for special effects and/or action drama, comedies are watched at home on the couch.

I guess I’m the idiot with the dead mice but at least I got to laugh with my family tonight and even though I’m concerned, I’ll likely be just fine.

Peace,

Kelly

Sometimes it feels like we are going nowhere, like nobody is ever going to pick up our book or we are never going to be able to get our bus and get on the road. We might not all feel that way. We might not all feel like that. But we all feel it sometimes.

A couple of weeks ago I messaged a woman, Jeanné McCartin who writes a gossip column for a local paper, about our book, Skeletons Don’t Sleep. I was hoping to get a little press for the book. Instead what happened is the woman replied to my inquiry with, Funny, I was going to contact you about some of your photos for an exhibit at 100 Market. Great stuff.

Cool!

As a result I have my very first gallery showing later this month. I’m pretty excited about it.

Some other really wonderful things seem to be blooming in my life. My blog seems to be exploding with activity. People are reading! Readership grows between 25-50% every month since I started writing again. Last month I had over 1450 unique visitors. I think that’s pretty freakin’ cool. In the past couple of days I was asked to be a contributor for a news site put together by women, a request to write an article for a magazine and an offer to participate in a conference next year (no, not speaking…I suck at speaking).

I’ve lined a few things up for myself too that hopefully will come to fruition over the next few months. I’ll fill you in more as those little pieces start to blossom.

In the meantime Jeff, the kids and I are finishing up the work here in Albany (we are helping a family move and get their house market ready) and are heading home for the weekend. On this trip home we hope to reserve our bus.

With a little luck you’ll be seeing us driving around the country talking to families about education and freedom in no time!

Even though sometimes we feel like we are going nowhere all we need to do is look around and experience our present. If we can do that the whole world of potential and opportunity opens up to us and we can more clearly see exactly where it is we are going.

Thank-you so much for taking time out of your life to read my little blog.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

I was sitting driving down this road with Zoe yesterday. Trying to find my way back to the house we are working on in Albany. I took a wrong turn again! I had written down the directions but seemed to flub it up somehow anyway. I wasn’t lost, this time, but I had missed a critical turn which ended up costing me a good 15 minutes extra. In the end we made it back just fine, no worse for the wear. Just tired.

My mind and our discussion in the car drifted to directions and navigation systems. Jeff recently remarked that we should pick up a navigation system when we have a few extra dollars because we could use one in the bus when we start really traveling.

We had a great system in the Suburban. It saved us an incredible amount of time. It wasn’t always right, of course, and we did end up lost a few times but never as badly as we did without the navigation.

I posed the question, What if I wasn’t allowed to have a navigation system?

That would just be stupid. Zoe responded.

Why?

Because it not like you can’t get around without one it’s just that you’d probably get lost less.

My mind circled around to calculators. I recently read a discussion on facebook where one mother was talking about having her homeschooled daughter figure out some simple math. The mother emphatically stated, And A’s never allowed to use a calculator. She has to figure the math out herself!

I remember thinking it was silly but as I was driving and having this discussion with Zoe I began to think of it even a little deeper. Was it even logical? Doesn’t the child have to know how to use a calculator? Or better yet one of the more modern tools like a cell phone, iTouch or similar device? Maybe all these steps that we require in between aren’t really steps? Maybe they are just obstacles? Something I talked about with Erica Goldson in our discussion.

Maybe denying children calculators is the same idea as denying them navigation systems. I mean I had thought that before but not quite so deeply.

One might argue if we *allow* children to use calculators for simple math then how are they going to learn it?! And I reply by living life and having some desire or NEED to do so. How often do you bring a calculator with you to the grocery store? Sure some people do but most of us don’t which creates a need/desire to add things up as we go (to make sure we have enough money). Maybe we need to divide up a food for a party. Either way we figure it out ourselves or we ask for help.

Just as we do if our navigation system is broken or we are borrowing another’s vehicle without it.

We all, generally speaking, get to our final calculations (& destinations) differently. Jeff and I are forever doing math together: calculating elevation, scale, how many tiles, square footage, weight of roofing tiles and such. Just as often we marvel at how differently we reach the same calculations. Oh, I did it this way. I added then subtracted or I just multiplied and used this formula or I don’t get it, how did you find that number? It’s always a friendly exciting exchange. I can’t say we are as friendly when it comes to directions. Although, there is the occasional smile and It always surprises me how you get places. I would just go a completely different way.

I’m sure I’m not the only one to have made this specific connection but it was a moment of deepening understanding and connection for me.

Just think of how many other places this concept could be applied and how deeply we are holding back our children and ourselves by forcing everyone to navigate their way through obstacles without the modern day tools available.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

Okay. I started writing a blog entry this morning about sibling rivalry, because it seems to be a big deal around here the last couple of days. It’s mostly in the car on longer trips, like to the CNHT picnic and to my parents yesterday. But it was also about the seating arrangement in my parents car when we he headed to the beach. So, I started a blog entry about how we deal with it. What works, what doesn’t and when nothing works. I wrote a little then I went up to the greenhouse to see how Jeff was doing.

All was fine there. Jeff was doing a magnificent job building, as usual. I chatted with him. I got some water. I took a few photos. Then I went over to the raspberry bushes to pick some raspberries.

The rain the we’ve had the last two days did wonders for the crop. There were more raspberries than I think our whole family could eat in a week. I started picking and eating away. I called Jeff over to see. He picked for a little bit.

Zoe and Griffin rode their bikes over from the house and started picking along side us. We were talking about how many berries there were and Zoe commented she’d like a container. Jeff went and found her one then headed back over to work on the greenhouse.

After Zoe had about two inches of the container filled she announced she was going to fill up the container for Wolfgang. She wanted wasn’t going to eat any while she picked. She wanted to give him the 32 oz container of organic raspberries and say to him, These are ALL yours enjoy them. You don’t have to share any of them.

I hadn’t mentioned a thing about their fighting this morning but apparently Zoe and I had been thinking about the same thing. How to get keep everyone getting along. I told her I thought it was very thoughtful of her and offered to help her fill up the rest of the container.

She did it. She filled the container. We drove back to the house and she gave Wolfgang the raspberries. He woke up, hopefully, feeling loved and grateful. He smiled, ate some of the berries and bathed.

Despite our living situation, the no power, the no running water, the cramped quarters, the heat, all the negative crap it’s neat to see my kids recognize for themselves the real abundance that surrounds them. We have unlimited organic raspberries to eat whenever. We have each other.

Just as the rain strengthens the bush and gives birth to new, mouth watering, juicy, deep red, delicious raspberries our struggles strengthen our family and give birth to new days, new experiences, connections, love, understanding and happiness.

Peace,

Kelly

When I take photographs, it’s easy. Actually, easy isn’t strong enough of a word. When I pick up a camera, when I look through a lens it’s like it’s an extension of me. I know what to do. I don’t often even have to give it a second thought. Sure some shots take practice but I usually know what to try. I know what questions to ask myself. I know what to look for. All the effort that is required of me is to be mindful. Mindful of the what I’m seeing, what I’m looking for in a shot, mindful of my camera’s limitations and mindful of my abilities.

It’s part of me. I think my photographs show that.

There are other things that come as easily to me.

Writing comes easily to me. I know I make LOTS of errors, I didn’t say editing comes easy to me. Just the writing.

Thinking comes easily. I’m a thinker. There is NO denying that. I think. I think. I think. I ponder. I question. I wonder. I evaluate situations. I observe people and events. I observer. I ponder more. I am a philosopher. There is no way around it. It’s something I can’t stop, though I’ve tried and others have tried…but it’s part of my being…part of my very fiber, probably my DNA. I don’t know exactly, I’ll have to give it some more thought.

Healing comes easily to me. I’m good at healing, people and animals both their hearts and minds. Maybe I’m supposed to be a nurse or a doctor. My kids are always telling me that’s what I *should* be. Or maybe I should have been a therapist.

Creating comes easily. I do much better at things when I do it my own way. If I don’t follow a recipe. If I don’t use a pattern.

Leading/Inspiring (as well as the negative flip side of that) comes naturally to me. When I write, photograph, say something people generally read, observe and listen. I’m not entirely comfortable with this. I don’t want to be a leader. I do enjoy being someone that inspires though…so maybe there is a balance I can find.

Honesty. It’s extremely hard for me to lie. Don’t get me wrong I have. I just find it incredibly draining and damaging to my soul. Even little white lies. Even secrets.

There are even superficial things that come pretty naturally to me. Like weight. I get it. I know what to eat. I know what to do movement-wise to keep my body weight where I want it. There is little effort, only mindfulness and mindfulness with practice becomes effortless.

Now, I haven’t told you all these things to prop myself up. I’ve written them all down because I believe these things are my purpose. There must be a reason why they come so effortless to me. I think these things are what I’m supposed to do with my life and for so many years I listened to other people and fought it or I ignored my true nature and fought it.

Today I work every single day to fulfill my purpose. I don’t know who or what gave me the purpose, nor do I think it matters. What matters is I fulfill my purpose. I do what do what I’m good at. To be what comes naturally to me. I live naturally. And what I mean by naturally is, I don’t fight the obvious.

That’s not to say I don’t live in the *real* world. I realize I need to make a living to feed my kids. To have a roof over my head but today instead of going along all the old wore paths I used to travel. I’m trying something new. I’m focusing on making a living doing what works for me, and my family. That’s why I’ve set up the “For Hire” page on this blog as well as the donate button.

Jeff is doing the same. So, please check out our the *For Hire* page and well if something strikes you that we can do contact us!

Photo by: Wolfgang Halldorson, Model: Zoe Halldorson

Just a quick rundown of our really cool day.

I wake up. Jeff heats up my water for my shower. Zoe and Griffin are up. I take the moths out of the freezer that I caught last night so I can take some photos outside. Both moths are still alive and well and I get some pretty good shots!

I look up info on one of them and find it’s a Tiger Moth and it starts as a woolly bear caterpillar. It’s too cool. Woolly Bear Caterpillars are my favorite and this Tiger Moth is too! While searching I find an awesome website: What’s That Bug?

The kids catch me a butterfly and another caterpillar. I get good shots of both. All before 10:00 am.

I bathe. The kids bathe. We bring Wolfgang and Zoe to a job. Zoe is mother’s helper and Wolfgang is doing some yard work. Jeff and I take Griffin to Portsmouth to get his tooth fixed. It’s early so we stop at Starbucks. Who stops in but Tom Bergeron. Griffin asks him if he minds getting a photo with him.

We go to get the tooth fixed. It doesn’t go as we’d been told so there was a bit of a bump there. Griffin needs a root canal so they started that. He has to go back in 6 weeks. He was supposed to get the tooth built up but since it was hurting him they wouldn’t do it but instead started a root canal. I’m a little grumpy about all that but…it will work out.

Stop at Walmart so Griffin can look around. On the way out there were some young, hungry travelers looking for food. We stop and take their picture and give them some water and five dollars.  That felt good.

We pick up Zoe and Wolfgang then went to go check out an old school bus for sale in Rochester. It was really cool and blue.

We go do the laundry in Dover. The kids ask if they can walk around with my camera. They come back with lots of pictures and video. My favorite is at the top of the page.

After we finish the laundry Jeff and I take a walk and the kids go walk around on their own and video/interview people about libertarianism. We end up at La Festa and meet up with the Liberty Meet-up group. We meet Chris Sununu (his father used to sign your money…don’t believe me go pull out an older bill) and get to ask him lots of questions about his run for Executive Council. Apparently his wife is a Libertarian…if only we could give him a little reason.

We leave La Festa and head home. I make scrambled eggs (local NOT factory farmed) for all while Jeff, Zoe and Griffin get water for tomorrow. Wolfgang takes care of the dogs and goes online. Zoe heads to bed early. I go in the room and work on the computer while Jeff snoozes next to me. Griffin builds things with his legos and Wolfgang is busy making music on his computer, still.

And as of conversations and learning today, some of the topics included…libertarianism, war, troops, peace, ideas for peace, girlfriends, relationships, moths, butterflies, stars, dancing with the stars, laughter, funny pictures, PJ O’Rourke, video interview questions, what makes a good web video, music, software, dogs, what kind of animals are around the house, how to get the water running faster, greenhouses, government, environmental programs, social programs, bodies of water, foreign policy, republican, democrat, governor’s council, elected offices, districts, distribution of powers, state vs. federal, drug war, drugs, troubled people, compassion, family, traveling, school buses, places to go, where to visit, when to leave, what to do on the road, life, purpose, goals, family, choices, reason, working, babysitting, mother’s helper, gardening, weeding, painting, inspiration, little kids, babies, breastfeeding, …and that is only one tiny tiny little piece of it.

Damn, I feel lucky.

Peace,

Kelly

Like many others we are struggling financially. Actually struggling doesn’t even begin to cut it.

Two years ago we were struggling but we had a nice Victorian home we rented. All the kids had there own room.  We had a nice vehicle, a Suburban without problems. We had lots of books and were walking distance to the public pool and downtown.

Today we have very little in the way of things. Very little. We live in a rundown trailer. We had to divide the back room into two separate rooms, one for the boys and one for Zoe. The rooms barely fit their beds. Most of our things got damaged in the move. Wolfgang quit playing hockey (for a team), in part, it was just too expensive.

About a week and a half ago, our electricity was shut off. That’s right, we have no power. We need way more money than we have to turn it back on. Part of what we owe is leftover from that Victorian we rented in Dover. I didn’t shut the electricity off to it when we left so what we owe includes a number of months we were not living there. It’s not something I’m upset about, at least not in the way of being resentful. I owe the money. We owe the money. And I don’t mind paying even for the time we weren’t living there because I feel we left abruptly and even wish we could do more for the landlord. They were great people we were caught just up with what was going on with us. I want to pay it.

We also have medical bills, student loans, even some tax stuff we have to sort out (although, I don’t believe we’ll end up owing anything there). We were weren’t/aren’t big on credit cards so it’s not like we have a lot of that kind of debt. It’s just life stuff. If we ever had something big to buy like a computer or whatever we’d just put the money aside and buy it outright. We didn’t do credit.

Neither Jeff or I have been working for a year and a half. Not working at a job, anyway. It’s not that we haven’t been working really. It’s that we have shifted completely the way we do things. Jeff used to go out and work and work and work at big construction jobs (which with the economy there really aren’t any now even if that’s what we wanted). He lived a life separate from us. And we lived a life separate from him. He was never home and my life with the kids had started to run parallel to his. It wasn’t good for any of us.

Today we focus on living a life that inspires us and our children. We focus on our life with the kids and our relationships with them and each other. We work toward reducing suffering through vegetarianism, we volunteer, we advocate for sexual assault victims (and have written a published a book all in the last year) and do our best to give positively to the world and the people around us. This has become our priority, our full-time job. What living this life entails is more work than anything we’ve done before, but with it comes more joy, love and connection.

We don’t take advantage of government programs like welfare, food stamps, public schools etc. because we feel it’s a violation of our core principles. We are not opposed to charity, in fact, we had a fundraiser to help publish our book and I just added a donate button to this very page.  It’s just if we are to take advantage of any generosity we want to know for sure it was freely given.

Presently our biggest efforts are finding ways to earn income to feed, house and clothe ourselves and our children in a way that is conducive to our family living.  But as with most new ventures there is a building period and in many ways it’s as though we are starting from scratch. I’m confident that our book, my photography, this blog, our Homeschool webshow and Jeff’s illustration work, our children’s book projects, my video work etc. will evolve to a point where we are not only financially stable but we have paid back all our debts and can give financially to causes that matter to us.  We just are not there *yet* — keep watching us and you’ll see we’ll make it!

How are we getting  by now?

We barter with our landlord for rent, right now we are building a greenhouse for him. A commercial sized greenhouse. We’ve sold a lot of our stuff, including most of Jeff’s larger tools. We share a cell phone. It’s a Boost Mobile phone that costs only $50/mo for unlimited use. We have another pay as you go phone around for when the kids need one but we probably put $10/mo on it…if that. We had to give our Suburban back to the bank last year. To get around we borrowed a couple of vehicles from friends and in January we bought a little Subaru for $500. It’s beat up but it runs and gets us to our groups and little jobs and it uses next to nothing in gas. We don’t pay for internet. We’ve found some WiFi spots around where we live and/or we go to Barnes and Noble or Starbucks (currently I’m sitting in Starbucks).

The loss of our electricity has been a gift in many ways. Laugh…but it has. It’s brought us even closer and shown us just how much we can actually deal with and still be happy. Really, truly happy.

Our goal as a family is to get out on the road. To travel around and meet other homeschooling/unschooling families. Last December we traded Jeff’s 1971 Harley Sporster for an RV. We took it on a couple of trips but now it needs a transmission. And we’ve been looking at school buses. We’d like to pick one up and convert it into a living space then travel around and meet, interview and video other families. Families that unschool. Families that public school. Families that homeschool. Families that private school. Families. Lots of Families.

The kids have been living with less than they are used to materially for the last year and a half. However they are living with MORE than they are used to freedom wise over the last year and a half. Because we’ve shifted to whole life unschooling. Our kids are free to make choices for themselves. They can choose when to get up, when to go to bed, when to read a book, when to build something, when to create, when to use play video games, when to play outside and so much more.

Some people might look at us and see neglectful parents, parents with kids that don’t have a lot of rules and don’t even have electricity…but those people would be so far from reality. Jeff and I have *never* been more attentive to the needs of our children than we have been this past year. We talk with them constantly about what their individual interests and goals are. We are WITH them nearly all the time. We bring them on adventures. We introduce them to more families and children who may or may not live how we do. We talk with them but more importantly we listen to them. We answer questions. We discuss. We find resources for their interests. Which include music, building, friends, technology, welding, boating, animals…and more of course…there is always more.

As a result we have children that write things like this. Kids that don’t complain about taking a bath with buckets of water (without electricity we have no running water). Kids that help lug the five gallon buckets of water from the greenhouse across the street every day. Kids that are actually excited about figuring out how to design a system of running/hot water that we’ll be able to transfer into an RV/Bus once we get one for the road. Kids that are just truly amazing.

When I hear people complaining about things like their AC going out, or their husband not taking out the trash I almost don’t know what to think. I’m living with no electricity. Actually, we do have a generator that we run for a few hours a day.  No running water (though we think we have that figured out so we should have it in the next couple of days). Our vehicle has not AC. We are mostly broke. We owe a lot of money.

Not to mention all the that is going on in the world at large…war, the oil spill…sigh…so much…

If you look at all the things we have against us it sounds like we have a miserable life. Then you look again and you see…

A husband and wife who have made it through infidelity, financial problems and much more. A couple who in the course of a year’s time have written and published a book that has moved and inspired literally hundreds of people all over the world.

A man who has decided to change his life for the better. A man who isn’t hiding from his past and is willing to put himself (and his skeletons) out for the world to see. A man who is dedicating his life to being a better husband and father. A man who is learning to be more compassionate and patient.

A woman that likes to take pictures and writes writes writes…with the aim of inspiring others in a peaceful way.

Three kids that I could write pages and pages about how great they are.

No, NONE of us are perfect. But we ARE happy. We ARE loving. We ARE compassionate. We ARE inspired. And we LOVE to learn.

Five people that love each other. Kids that love to learn and parents that are engaged and resourceful in finding ways to facilitate that learning. Whether it’s finding opportunities for the kids to earn money so they can buy things like iPods or a netbook or taking them on adventures to meet new people and have new experiences. A family that doesn’t just talk about their days but actually experience their days together. Kids that are allowed to be exactly who they are.

A family that chooses to live life by their own rules.

Creating love in these hard times is easy. You just have to choose to do it. Choose to see it. Choose to learn it. Choose to LIVE it.

Peace,

Kelly

On June 24th we visited the Maple Farm Sanctuary, here is what our friend Mimi (from O2 Yoga Studios) had to say about the visit…followed by some photos I took at the sanctuary. I am putting together a full 20 minute Homeschool Gone Child episode of our adventure too.

I was the first of what we hope to be many trips down to help.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

— John Hancock

New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

The following quotes are from a New Hampshire Union Leader Article, titled Decision to euthanize NH geese creates flap. The commentary is mine. The photo was taken earlier this year when a pair of geese visited our pond.

On June 23, officials from the U.S. Department of Agriculture Wildlife Services were paid by two property owners to round up and euthanize geese that had been fouling their properties. The federal government refused to identify the property owners.

They rounded up these geese and their offspring and killed them.

Dick Wright of Newbury, who lives near the lake, wrote letters to the editor of New Hampshire newspapers last week decrying the practice.
He said the problem is property owners who create large lawns and fake beaches that attract the birds and detour them from their migratory route.

I find this piece very interesting.

Jared Teutsch, president of the New Hampshire Lakes Association, said conflict between the Canada geese and lakefront property owners is on the increase across the state.

He said native shores of brush are in some cases being replaced by lawns and man-made beaches. That is a welcome mat for migratory geese to settle down and nest. Once born here, they return and bear their own young and have life spans of up to 25 years.

So here is a case when we (meaning humans) are not destroying another creatures habitat but instead are creating something they inviting and hospitable and that’s not good either?

There is this desire to control…that is just HUGE. I think it involves issues of mortality and impermanence.

What do you think about it?

Peace,
Kelly

In a matter of months my youngest will be turning 13 years old and Jeff and I will be the parents of three teenagers. You think I’d be dreading it. Teenagers we are told are horrible, obnoxious, self-righteous brats. I mean, we all were. Were we not? I think…maybe not.

So far I’m finding the teen years to be exciting, joyous and full of learning. No, my kids are not perfect but neither am I. What my teens (and soon to be teen) are is unique, inspiring individuals that I am ever so grateful experiencing life with. I am humbled as I watch their wisdom grow, their minds expand and their futures develop.

Wolfgang is interested in making music, being a DJ, and a filmmaker. Griffin’s latest interest is in welding. He’d like to be an underwater welder. We found a couple of folks willing to help him with that and hopefully he’ll be welding soon. Zoe’s love is for art and writing. She creates, dabbles in dirt, writes and reads…and this morning she said she thinks she’d like to be an archeologist when she is older.

All three share their interests and goals with Jeff and I with enthusiasm and spirit. They talk with us openly and comfortably about most things other parents fear talking to their kids about…drugs, sex, violence, lying, philosophy, politics, choices…and the list goes on. We listen and appreciated their unique perspectives.

I owe most of it to the biggest shift in our lives, we aim to practice non-coercive parenting. We focus on our relationship with our children and learning. All of us learning, together. Mindfulness. Choices. Values. Inspiration.

Learning happens all the time. We, as parents, try to create the optimal environment for positive learning through enriching activities, adventures, resources and discussion. Lots of discussion. Did I say LOTS of discussion?

Our children are our friends and we are their partners in learning. We ARE *still* their parents and their guides but we focus on respecting them as individuals and not demanding their compliance and/or servitude. We are *NOT* trying to be the cool buddy buddy type parents that buy their kids beer and throw anything goes parties for groups of teens. We want to be GOOD friends/mentors to our kids…not negative ones!

We are raising free people. It’s incredible, free teens don’t have a need to rebel…at least not in the same way as other kids. They make poor choices here and there (don’t we all) but for the most part if it’s a big choice…a life altering choice…they talk to us to get our feedback first.

I feel so honored to be their mother.

<3 Kelly

What if everything you’ve ever learned was wrong? What if you were lied to? What if everyone was lied to? What if everyone really was out to get you? What if you were really hurting the people you love when you thought you were helping them? What if the people you love most don’t really love you? What if you really shouldn’t trust people? What if you caused suffering every day by your own choices? What if there really are no choices? What if you have no control? What if there is no god? What if history was fabricated to serve an agenda?

What if Christ was real? What if he came tomorrow? What if you looked the other way? What if you didn’t believe it was him? What if Christianity wasn’t the answer? What if there isn’t an answer? What if you didn’t know the answer? What if the answer was 42? What if you didn’t believe? What if you did? What if the Mayans were right? What if Hindus have the answers? What if the Greek Gods were real? What if all the religions were right? What if none of them are? What if there are pieces of answers in everything? What if there are no answers?

What if you knew why you were here? What if you didn’t? What if you were kinder to the ones you loved? What if the world really was doomed? What if life as we know it really is going to end in 2012? What if all the crazy extremists aren’t the crazy ones?

What if we all opened our eyes and our hearts? What if we all worked together to reduce suffering? What if we respected our children? What if we stopped killing? What if we could make a difference? What if we did have the power to change things? What if there was a beautiful future for everyone? What if we were kind and compassionate? What if nobody lied? What if we didn’t assume anyone’s intent? What if we spoke the truth? What if when we did people would listen and rejoice?

What if you had a billion dollars? What if I did? What if money didn’t matter? What if money is all that matters? What if money really does corrupt? What if money didn’t buy power? What if money was good? What if money was bad? What if money just was?

What if we washed all the birds? What if we stopped all the slaughter? What if we cleaned up all the oil? What if we fed all the hungry? What if we comforted all the sad? What if we found all the lost? What if we housed all the homeless? What if we did it without force or intimidation? What if we accepted not everyone wants to be fed, housed, comforted or found? What if we could make peace with that?

What if we had the freedom? What if we allowed other’s their freedom? What if we were all autonomous but engaged in shared joys, passions, inspiration and love? What if all the sadness could be gone? What if we all cried when we saw sunsets? What if we all saw the beauty?

What if we are all in the Matrix? What if we’re not?

What if life here, life today, life in this very moment is all we have?

Peace,

Kelly

Today we spent the day at our friends the Carpenter’s home. Jeff helped Steve and some friends sand down Cicada his family’s wooden sail boat he has been rebuilding for the last year.

The kids hung out with the Carpenter boys and I worked on the new blog design, took photos, caught frogs, chased chickens and talked with the kids. It was great day. One of those days that remind you how wonderful it is to have really great friends.

Here are a few shots from the day…

Don’t worry he’s alive ….

Peace,
Kelly

I was at one of your homeschool groups and I was talking to a friend about high school classes and the day before I was talking with another friend about required reading in school. And it got me thinking about my personal experience with school and required work. Last night in bed I remembered something kind of amusing.

I always did extra credit. Always. I remember on at least two occasions turning in tests with ONLY the extra credit questions done but nothing else. It makes me laugh a little…and it makes me sad a little.

Not everything had to be my idea but it always had to be my choice.

If there was a book, a movie, a question, that I could do (or not do) as a bonus…I’d go out of my way to. In some cases even when it wasn’t something I would normally do or even have interest in. I did this in class to. I never read a required book. Never my entire time in high school (I did read one in JR High) but one thing I always did was participate in the discussions about the books.

This start of a poem called *runaway* is literally ALL I remember from my freshman English class. It was an extra credit assignment. I hate poetry. Alright, I don’t hate it (I love Silverstein, Suess & Poe) but it’s generally not my thing. But when the teacher offered up an opportunity to bring a poem to our final (or maybe it was the mid-year exam) for extra credit…I jumped at the opportunity.

I left it on his desk the last class before the test and never even showed for the exam.

you’re all alone
no place left to run
the damage you’ve caused
can’t be undone

the reason you left
you no longer know

I can’t remember the rest but considering I wrote it about 23 years ago and wasn’t all that impressed with it even then, demonstrates something powerful. Having the freedom *to do* or *not do* something is a wonderful thing.

Are you looking for a little more color in your photos?

This is absolutely one of the simplest ways…GET UP CLOSE to something colorful. All the photos on this entry were taken in the last couple of weeks and they are all taken straight from the camera, meaning I used the camera settings to get the colors/lighting/focus etc I was looking for instead of doing it afterwards with cropping and color enhancements.

The yellow shot above is a lily flower, despite being surrounded by mucky water and pond scum the color up close is really remarkable. Sometimes it takes a little effort and patience when shooting close-up shots. With the lily I had to find a way to actually get to it and not be knee deep in that aforementioned pond scum.

And don’t be afraid of bugs! They are beautiful…they are colorful and they give added character to flower shots.

If you get up right inside the flowers you’ll find it even more colorful and fascinating to look at. The deep floral shots remind me of the works of Georgia O’Keefe and my recent appreciation for her work with flowers.

Another great thing about shooting bugs…we have LOTS of dragonflies on our pond. All sorts of different flavors. They are stunning. Recently we went to a homeschool group near a small waterway. There were a gazillion dragonflies there as well and they were all different than the varieties we have on our pond. The group was less than ten miles from the house so it was especially remarkable to me how many different types of dragonflies there really are. (I actually think I’ll be doing a blog entry on that soon).

Dragonflies are really hard to photograph with the little digital Elph. The shots come out great when you get them but they are so fast it’s hard to actually capture them. It’s best to just sit in one place and wait for them to come to you. That’s what I did with this shot.

When you look closely at something through a lens even the most mundane things can become inspiring and beautiful…like this clover and this dead dandelion with the bright blue sky behind it.

And with your camera settings set to MACRO (something I’ve done for every one of these shots) you are sure to get some spectacular depth of field effects. Check out this shot of Jeff holding the dragonfly by it’s wings even his fingers provide added intense color.

I’ll warn you though. You’ve GOT to get close. If you have a bigger SLR you can use a zoom lens and get the shot but with the digital Elph and other similar point and shoot type cameras I find it’s best to just use the macro feature and get really really really close. I’m talking less than a centimeter in some cases. I’ve even been known to bump the camera right up against the subject.

Get out there and get up close. Post your photos online somewhere and post some links to your work below…I’d really love to see and hear other folks ideas…and here some experiences.

Peace & Thanks for taking the time to read,
Kelly

What does an unschooling day look like exactly?

Today was the perfect example of a fairly *uneventful* yet beautifully filled with learning, love and joyous living day. It included some very sad inspiration too as well a lot of happy stuff too. I’m not sure I can write about EVERYTHING we talked/learned about and/or experienced today. In fact, I could probably fill a book with just today.

I’ll give it a try anyway.

Yesterday my mother sent me a note asking us to come for a visit. We agreed and the plan was to just wake up, shower and head up. On a Sunday that could put us there anywhere from 10:00 am to noon. Wolfgang had slept really late yesterday - we’re talking waking in the early afternoon. So, needless to say he didn’t sleep last night, at all. I woke up around 4:00 am to the sounds of thunder, not that cheezy Bob Seger song but real, loud, clapping, violent thunder. I tossed and turned until it faded off into the distance, got up and went to the bathroom only to realize poor Wolfgang was tossing and turning himself. I talked to him for a few minutes then went back in my room.

Then I thought I heard our cat, Random, meowing outside. I got up and checked. It took a little bit but I coaxed him out of the woods and into the house. I a was sleepy and wide awake at the same time. I was unable to resist the stunning sky. I grabbed my tripod and headed out into the dark barefoot looking for the best places to catch the sky. I spent a good 15-20 minutes outside waiting for the moon to pop back out of the clouds so I could snap a shot. No luck. So, I gave up and went back inside. Wolfgang was still awake so I suggested he go out in the living room and write or something. I would have liked to have stayed up with him but I was just too beat after standing out in the night. Either that of the adrenalin of being outside in the near pitch black had worn off. Wolf took my advice and spent the next couple of hours watching youtube videos and researching.

Jeff and I woke up around 8:30 am. Jeff made coffee. The kids showered one by one while Jeff worked on his Diane Sawyer project and I wrote.

After our shower, Jeff and I talked about something that has been eating away a me (and I’m sure many other people) for a few days now. The birds. The birds in the gulf. The oiled birds. Not just the birds really but all of the animals down in the gulf. The oil. All the OIL.

When it first happened I purposely didn’t read about it or watch because I knew it would be too upsetting and/or overwhelming for me. I was right. It is.

All I can think about, now that I’ve started to pay attention and I have seen those images, is getting myself down there to wash off those birds. To hold them and talk them and to show them that humanity isn’t just that oil slick.

Nearly the entire way up to my parents for our visit that is exactly what we talked about. All of us, except Wolfgang because he fell asleep before we were even out of the driveway. LOL. Jeff suggested next time he can’t sleep for us to just drive him around the block like we did when he was a little peanut. Griffin, Zoe, Jeff and I discussed ways to raise money to make the journey down to help the animals. We talked about various ways to try and plug the hole. We talked all the different people that were/are responsible. Why we thought it wasn’t getting taken care of fast enough. We talked about what kind of devastation there will likely be and what there is already. I don’t mean just Jeff or I talked and the kids listened. I mean they told us their ideas, feelings and thoughts on the whole situation and we listened.

Zoe and Griffin both came up with some amazing observations and ideas. Zoe suggested the person that created the miracle water filter (the Lifesaver Bottle) should make a big version that could be dragged over the top of the water. Griffin made a suggestion for containment and/or using gravel to fill the hole.

We all wondered what and if there is anything WE can/could do to help.

At my parents we talked about everything from computers, iPod applications, internet, email, oil, music, dj equipment, squirrels, indigo buntings, photography, blogging, writing, drumbeats, iTunes, and so much more. We used the internet to share our ideas, thoughts and inspiration.

We played a game of apples to apples which prompted discussions and pauses to look up various things online like human sonar…

…or when plastic was invented, when diabetes as discovered and a discussion about disgruntled postal workers including the story behind the phrase going postal…

And we laughed and laughed and laughed.

Jeff looked up info on salt mining another thing we had discussed on the way up. Griffin and I were not sure how salt was gathered and what the difference between Sea Salt and Table Salt was. After Jeff shared his online finds about salt mines I did some researching and found some interesting stuff myself. This video was just one I found about an accident involving oil drilling and a salt mine in Louisiana in the 80s. I shared it with Jeff, the boys and Pepere.

We ate Amy’s Vegan Pizzas, kids had Stouffer’s Mac & Cheese and we all ate Marry Me Bars and watched Tim Burton’s incredible, beautiful, extraordinary, Alice in Wonderland. Which prompted conversations about Tim Burton, caterpillars, Coraline, Neil Gaimen, Johnny Depp, movie making, green screen, effects, adaptation…and the list goes on.

The drive home was just as wonderfully conversation filled and inspiring as the rest of the day coming right back around full circle to the birds in the oil and how we can get down there to help them.

This is only a small slice of what the day. I can’t possible fill you in on every morsel of learning, joy and sharing that happened today but if you ever wonder what unschooling looks like…especially on one of those “do nothing” days….this would be a good example.

Now that I’ve finished this blog entry…I’m off to join the rest of my amazing family in dreamland. Maybe I’ll get to save some birds while I’m there…better yet maybe I can stop the spill from ever happening. It’s my dream, right? Why not….

We don’t have chores. Here are three examples of recent non-coerced giving. The Griffin and Zoe stories are from today. While the Wolfgang one from a couple weeks ago.

This morning I was feeling exhausted. Really uncharacteristically exhausted, still am, but I kept trying to get things done that were bothering me. I wanted to clean up the kitchen and wash the dishes. Jeff was off cutting some trees down for the landlord, something that was causing me a huge amount of anxiety (again uncharacteristically - I don’t generally get anxious).

Zoe and Griffin were awake playing and such. I would clean a little then go lay down. I got the kitchen done for the most part. When Jeff came back I went out to clean the car. He was talking about wanting to go out later and all the stuff in the back had been bothering me. Shortly into cleaning out the back Zoe came outside to see what I was doing.

Z: Whatcha doing?
K: Just cleaning out the car. It’s been bothering me so I figured I’d take care of it.
Z: But you’re not feeling well. Why don’t you go lay down?
K: I will when I’m done.
Z: Would you like some help?
K: Sure, I would love some help.

She helped me clean the whole car. Not one complaint. The whole car. She didn’t ask for money or reward. She just wanted to help clean the car.

Later on we went to Grampa Ernie’s (my paternal grandfather). When we pulled up he was on his lawnmower looking pretty tired. He had just finished up mowing the front yard but still had the whole backyard to finish up. Griffin announced he’d like to mow the backyard for Grampa. And that’s exactly what he did for the next hour. By the time he was finished it was dark out. Grampa insisted on paying, although Griffin tried refusing the money three times he eventually accepted the money and thanked Grampa promising to come back and clean up any *holidays* he may have missed.

Then there is the story of Wolfgang’s bike…you can read the beginning of the story here.

HERE is the rest of the story…

A couple of months ago Wolfgang’s bike was stolen. Wolfgang is 15.

The other day the kids, Jeff and I were outside when a boy rode by on the bike.

Jeff followed the boy and got it back. He gave it up without contesting just acted as though he didn’t know….but he gave it back.

Wolfgang saw the kid at the lake a couple of days later. He didn’t talk to him. He’s never talked to him. He *looks* like a trouble sad kid, smoker,
drugs etc.

When we got home Wolfgang said, “I think I’d like to give him the bike. I have another one now and don’t need it. Plus if I give him the bike he’ll be less likely to go steal someone else’s.”

Then he posted that on his facebook page asking for feedback. A mother of a friend of Wolf’s responded.

===

Wolfgang Halldorson: went swimming pretty packed but, the water was nice. Got to see who stole my bike thinking about just giving it to him because he
is just going to steal another one and him having my bike would decline that risk and plus i have another bike that i like more so it is all cool

friends mother: I like the thought but not the fact that he would be rewarded for his stealing.
Tuesday at 9:40pm

Wolfgang Halldorson: the kid gave it back without a problem and he would not have the need to steal another one if he had mine. It would not be rewarding
him he needs it more than me. he seems like a kind of depressed kid
=========

A few days ago….

The other boy walked by our yard. Wolfgang went outside and offered him the bike. Wolf said he has another one and wouldn’t mind. The kid refused. He was nice but he looked as though he felt really uncomfortable. Wolfgang told him it was really okay that he wanted him to have it. He even said, kindly, that he’d rather him have it than take someone else’s bike.

He refused, again. Nicely.

Jeff (hubby) asked him his name and how old he was. He is three month younger than Wolf. Jeff assured him that Wolfgang was “allowed” to give the bike to him and we all wanted him to have transportation so he didn’t think he needed to take someone else’s bike again. Jeff said, “Would feel better with another bike? You can have that mountain bike we don’t use it.” (we have a handful of bikes that were gifted to us and some put together from pieces from the dump).

The kid accepted the mountain bike. He thanked both Jeff and Wolf.

He and Wolfgang shook hands.

True giving, without strings, without promise of reward…is really a wonderful thing to witness.

Sometimes I’m too good at this (seeing things in a better light) and I fall victim to a false reality. Or do I?

This photo is one I took in Somersworth, New Hampshire. I had to really search for the beauty. There was a plastic bag hanging in the tree. I moved the camera to the right a little and *poof* it was gone. Not to mention the water was filthy, it smelled really bad and I was standing on broken glass. It didn’t take much to block those things out. The camera doesn’t pick up the smell, I didn’t focus on the water and my feet were out of sight of the lens.

Right now I’m having some trouble, physically. I’m tired. Really exhausted. I think it might have something to do with my Thyroid. I’ve been terrible about taking my medication. I really don’t *want* to take the medication. I take Synthroid it’s a thyroid stimulating synthetic hormone. My thyroid doesn’t work as well as it’s supposed to and I need medication to compensate for it’s under-activity. At least that’s the idea.

What I’m told will happen to me if I don’t take the medication is I will eventually just slip into a comma. That’s the melodramatic part…and it would take a LONG time to get there and I would have plenty of problems before that like hair falling out, depression, heart problems etc etc.

I’ve read a lot and there are plenty of other homeopathic alternatives to the conventional therapy but I’m struggling with how to make that transition. I’ve been off of my synthroid for a little while now and despite trying to see things in a better light, the reality of my TSH levels climbing and my energy level plummeting is something I need to accept and and not ignore.

I guess what I’m saying is it is really important to see the beauty in things but to at least acknowledge and/or accept the beauty isn’t the *whole* story. We are not living in Katie’s world where everyone is a pony that eats rainbows and poops butterflies.

Balance and truth in reality remains the real enduring beauty.

One of the things Jeff and I have been working on is dealing with each other’s crabbiness in a positive way and being mindful and compassionate of each other’s feelings.

We haven’t narrowed down the *best* things to do for each other yet but we certainly have narrowed down the best things NOT to do.

Hell, it’s a start right?

I would say the biggest thing on both of our lists of NOT to do when we are grumpy is TELL us we are grumpy. This does nothing but make it worse. Even if done sweetly.

“Honey, you seem stressed. Is there something I can do for you?”

Nope, doesn’t work.

A hug or soft kiss on the cheek is generally helpful but it’s hard to kiss a porcupine. I would like to hear some of the things YOU do for someone you love when they are crabby. What WORKS? or what helps you to remember the porcupine still needs that kiss?

I’ve always loved daisies, dandy lions (because of the whole popping off the tops as a kid) and sunflowers. Any appreciation for flowers stopped right there, for years.

My favorite painter since high school has been Georgia O’Keefe, but despite being famous for her intimate studies of colorful flora. I much preferred her bones. They are just so morbidly beautiful.

Then I had children. And they would pick me flowers or Jeff would give me roses on their birthdays. I began to expand my appreciation to roses, then wild flowers. My aunt began a project called Daffodils for Dunbarton…I added daffodils to my list.

Since I began the Something Beautiful project I’ve photographed hundreds of flowers…and I find every single one of them amazing. It has even allowed me to take a second look at O’Keefe’s other paintings…and I honestly cannot believe I did not see their beauty before. Wow.

I feel grateful to be able to finally get it.

Peace,
Kelly

I’ve decided to get back to work. Not that I ever *really* stopped working. Or maybe, more accurately I never really *started* working. I mean, it’s not work if it’s your passion, your joy…your LOVE. Right?

Either way it doesn’t really matter does it?

What I’m here to say is I’m back on the market as a photographer. And I’m available for a wide range of photography. In other words you tell me what you need done and I’ll let you know if I can do it. But the bottom line is I shoot events, kids, advertising photography, photojournalism, portraits, family, animals, scenery, bugs, sunsets, stars, wildlife…

…really I’ll shoot (with a camera that is) just about anything.

I can do black and white, color, low light, bright light, in the rain, indoor or outdoor.

I’ve been doing photography for over 20 years now. I took one photography class in highschool. That’s it, otherwise I am entirely self-taught. I’ve photographed large multi-band concerts, motorcycle group rides even a wedding or two.

I’ve done promotional photographs for bands and businesses. I’ve done head shots for model work. And advertising photography…and even designed ads.

So, if you are looking for a photographer who not only knows what they are doing but one that LOVES what they are doing.

I’m reasonably priced. Tell me what it is you are looking for and we can work out something within your budget. I’m sure of it.

If I’m shooting an event…you are guaranteed at least 200 photos an hour. At least. Photos you can keep. Photos you can get your digital negatives for…photos you can do whatever you want with. They are *yours* — You pay me for my time and talent. That’s it. I don’t hold your images hostage or force you to use my printer.

If you are looking for advertising photography. I’m your girl. Not only can I get the shot your looking for…I can edit it and create your ad if you’d like too. If you can imagine it. I can help you make it come to life.

These photos on this entry. They are just a few of the thousands of pictures I’ve taken in the last few months alone.

Who knows maybe I already have the shot your looking to use for your ad…email me… kelly@halldorson.com ….and we’ll find out.

I look at this photo of Zoe, at four years old and I feel nothing but sadness, however well intended, I did this to her. I did this to hernot because I didn’t get her vaccinated but because I purposely exposed her. I purposely caused her pain because I thought it was for her own good.

I got Chicken Pox myself as a kid. I woke up with them Christmas morning when I was 4 or 5. According to my mother and what I remember it was really no big deal. So, when it came my own kids came and the Varicella vaccine came out I decided against the vaccine and I still would (decided against vaccinating) today. We vaccinated for everything else (now I probably wouldn’t) but Chicken Pox - since I’d had it and live through it - seemed over the top to me.

I decided with my aunt who’s children are the same age as mine that we would have a chicken pox party if either of our clans ended up with Chicken Pox.

It was the spring of 2001, I believe. My aunt called me to let me know my cousins had it. I quickly arranged for a visit to bring over get well cards and pick up some Varicella germs.

Not long after they all developed symptoms the same day. Headache, fever, slugishness…then the day after Mother’s day the spots appeared. No! Spots is WAY too nice a word…blisters…nasty, itchy, painful blisters.

They presented differently.

Wolfgang had the least blisters and the lowest fever. Overall he was by far the least affected but he cried and cried and cried…from the itchiness, pain (headache) and soreness. I don’t think he has any visible scars.

Griffin was the sickest. He was covered, absolutely covered…except his face he only had a few on his face. He only has two scars. One big (and cute if you look) on the tip of his nose. When I say he was the sickest…boy was he. A little hot box. I couldn’t keep his fever below 103, at all. Even with a fever reducer. It would spike (repeatedly spiking to 105) so high I was concerned for an entire week that we would have to rush him to the hospital any minute. I was on the phone to the doctor’s office constantly and all they really did was shun be for not having gotten the vaccine.

Zoe’s forehead was covered. It was WELL over a year before the redness went away and if you look at her forehead today you can still see plenty of scarring. Yes, she’s beautiful and it’s not *that* noticeable but it’s still there. Her fever was quite high too. She complained the whole week about the headache. It was excruciating.

THEN…Zoe ended up getting them a SECOND time! It was less than a year later and when she entered Kindergarten. She wasn’t exposed to anyone that I know of. I actually believe that she caught it from one of the kids in her class that had just been recently vaccinated. I was told over and over that wasn’t possible. But I was also told by half the doctors that saw her that she must not have had chicken pox the first time…I had to bring this photo to prove it.

Anyway when she caught it the second time. It wasn’t nearly as bad, pox wise but the other symptoms were bad enough. It was right when the school nurse was making sure everyone had their vaccinations. And kids were being sent home that didn’t have the vaccinations yet. So, I *know* there were a handful of kids who got the vaccine in the timeframe to expose here.

If I had it to do over again. I would likely not vaccinate them but I would also not *purposely* expose them to the germs either. When I say that I mean either by going to a chicken pox party OR getting the vaccine. Why bother? Really? I was scared into believing that they needed to get the Chicken Pox or it could be very dangerous as an adult.

All the reasons I thought at the time were good reasons to do it all have crumbled or proved to be somewhat misinformation I had received or read. The number one reason…I wanted them to have a lifetime immunity. —- turns out that’s not really always the case. Zoe got it twice. AND if you’ve actually had chicken pox you can develop shingles later in life.

I just asked my kids what they thought and what they would do with their kids today. NOT giving them any of my thoughts.

ME: Hey Griffin, Do you remember getting chicken pox?
Griffin: Nope.
Zoe: I do!
ME: Both times?
Zoe: Yes!
ME: Okay a question for you. If you had kids *today* would you purposely expose them to chicken pox?
Zoe: NO! (shaking her head, very confused)
ME: Oh, then would you vaccinate them?
Zoe: I’d probably wait until they were older and then ask them how they felt about it.
ME: Thanks! Wolf how about you?
Wolf: What?
ME: If you had kids today, would you purposely expose them to chicken pox?
Wolf: No.
ME: Do you remember getting chicken pox?
Wolf: Nope, not at all.
ME: Okay, Griffin…how about you? Would you purposely expose your kids to chicken pox?
Griffin: What!? Why the hell would I do that?
ME: I don’t know, because well…I - I did that….an…
Zoe: YOU DID WHAT?! You…YOU…did that?! (big cute frown on her face)

I would not advocate purposely exposing kids. I would not advocate vaccinating either (for the same reason).

If *I* had it to do over again I would not vaccinate and if they got it they got it. Keep them as healthy as possible, be aware of the dangers and hope for the best.

Is it really a choice between vaccinate them or purposely expose them? I don’t think so. And isn’t that really the same thing? If you’d rather your kids get the real virus because that’s the natural way, then let them catch a natural way.

Peace,
Kelly