Posted by Kelly Halldorson
15 Jul 2010
Gorgone Checkerspot, Butterfly
If you asked me even as little as three years ago what the difference between a butterfly and a moth I probably would have said, I don’t know. Butterflies are pretty. Moths are icky?
The last couple of years I’ve warmed up a bit. I’ve always kind of liked butterflies but still wasn’t overly thrilled about touching them. My grandfather loved them. He passed away in March. This video is from a visit with him last fall.
His enthusiasm for the little critters along with my Something Beautiful project helped to broaden my comfort level a bit. Not long after his passing I got a bit obsessed with bugs in general. A recent visit to the Butterfly Place and now I’m especially loving the butterflies and the MOTHS! Oh, the moths. They are elusive little buggers.
Today we were at the farm and there were all kinds of little orange butterflies flying around. There have been tons lately but today they were dancing in the air in sets of two, playful and seemingly joyful. It had me wondering if they all just mate on one day. It was that crazy cool.
Mating Gorgone Checkerspot taken in Strafford, NH
Anyway as I was snapping away Bea, our landlord’s partner, came out. She’s in her 80’s. I told her I was totally loving all these beautiful little love-bird butterflies fluttering around. She responded, I don’t think they are butterflies. I think they are moths and I’m not so sure they are good. I read they lay the pesky critter eggs.
With Griffin standing by my side I said, I’m pretty sure they are butterflies. Moths fly at night. That was the one thing I remembered from our visit to the Butterfly Place. I knew there was something about the body too, moths being fatter but it’s not enough for me to notice. BUT one being nocturnal and the other being diurnal, that’s easy to remember.
Griffin piped up, That’s definitely a butterfly. It has skinny antenna and it’s body is thinner. And there are some other things too. It’s a butterfly.
Bea wasn’t convinced, Are you sure? I thought because it’s wings made a tent when it landed that meant it was a moth.
I promised to come back not only with a 100% surety on the moth vs butterfly debate but also I’d be able to tell her what KIND of a butterfly it was. Excited that Griffin seemed to know so much more than me on the topic I asked him to explain the differences to me and asked if he’d gotten that from our visit to the Butterfly Place.
No, well some, I watched a video there but also I just sort have picked it up along the way. Here and there. Kind of all over. Books and stuff too.
It turns out the little cute orange butterflies (the ones pictured above) are American Coppers. They are about an inch with their wings open. And there were literally at least 100 flying around everywhere. It was like orange confetti flew up in the air every time you took a step.
Without further ado I give you some ways to identify a MOTH vs. BUTTERFLY (with photos) obviously like with everything there may be exceptions
MOTHS
- Fly at NIGHT. They are nocturnal.
- They have FUZZY or pointed antenna
- Chunky FUZZY bodies
- Wings lay flat down onto body
- some moths have pinchers
Atlas Moth taken at the Butterfly Place, see the FUZZY antenna
still working on the name of this guy (will update), check out the thick fuzzy body
Tiger Moth taken in Strafford, NH - found at night, notice how the wings lay and pointy antenna
BUTTERFLIES
- Fly during the day.
- Wings generally rest in upright position
- The bodies are thinner, though I can’t really tell all the time. They look very similar to me.
- antenna are clubbed or straight
- butterflies have straw like tongue
- usually brighter in color
more of those Gorgone Checkerspot, notice the antenna
upright wings, bright color and straw tongue
straw tongue, thin body and upright wings
Well, I hope that helps. 
I’ll probably update this post a bit so it might be one you want to revisit. I might add some more photos and/or names descriptions. Oh, and Bea thanked us for letting her know what exactly those orange cuties were.
As I was writing this Griffin caught me what we think is a hummingbird moth. I’ll post some photos in the morning. These creatures are fantastic!
Peace,
Kelly
NOTE: It’s funny. It would seem Griffin and I were right about them being butterflies but after a little more information. I think they are actually, Gorgone Checkerspot, NOT American Coppers.
Posted by Kelly Halldorson
12 Jul 2010
Okay. I started writing a blog entry this morning about sibling rivalry, because it seems to be a big deal around here the last couple of days. It’s mostly in the car on longer trips, like to the CNHT picnic and to my parents yesterday. But it was also about the seating arrangement in my parents car when we he headed to the beach. So, I started a blog entry about how we deal with it. What works, what doesn’t and when nothing works. I wrote a little then I went up to the greenhouse to see how Jeff was doing.
All was fine there. Jeff was doing a magnificent job building, as usual. I chatted with him. I got some water. I took a few photos. Then I went over to the raspberry bushes to pick some raspberries.
The rain the we’ve had the last two days did wonders for the crop. There were more raspberries than I think our whole family could eat in a week. I started picking and eating away. I called Jeff over to see. He picked for a little bit.
Zoe and Griffin rode their bikes over from the house and started picking along side us. We were talking about how many berries there were and Zoe commented she’d like a container. Jeff went and found her one then headed back over to work on the greenhouse.
After Zoe had about two inches of the container filled she announced she was going to fill up the container for Wolfgang. She wanted wasn’t going to eat any while she picked. She wanted to give him the 32 oz container of organic raspberries and say to him, These are ALL yours enjoy them. You don’t have to share any of them.
I hadn’t mentioned a thing about their fighting this morning but apparently Zoe and I had been thinking about the same thing. How to get keep everyone getting along. I told her I thought it was very thoughtful of her and offered to help her fill up the rest of the container.
She did it. She filled the container. We drove back to the house and she gave Wolfgang the raspberries. He woke up, hopefully, feeling loved and grateful. He smiled, ate some of the berries and bathed.
Despite our living situation, the no power, the no running water, the cramped quarters, the heat, all the negative crap it’s neat to see my kids recognize for themselves the real abundance that surrounds them. We have unlimited organic raspberries to eat whenever. We have each other.
Just as the rain strengthens the bush and gives birth to new, mouth watering, juicy, deep red, delicious raspberries our struggles strengthen our family and give birth to new days, new experiences, connections, love, understanding and happiness.
Peace,
Kelly
Posted by Kelly Halldorson
9 Jul 2010
Libertarianism:
I made a bumper sticker years ago that I think pretty much sums it up, Libertarian: Be Respected as a Unique and Competent Individual.
Beyond the Libertarian party is libertarian philosophy and that is what I will be talking about here. Why? Because the Libertarian Party is a party of people, a political group with an agenda while libertarian philosophy is about ideas.
Not to say I don’t support the Libertarian party, I do, for the most part. I’ve even been a card-carrying member (though my membership is currently expired). But they are a group of people with an agenda and sometimes (as people with agendas often do) make mistakes and put the party above the principle. I know, ironic considering they call themselves the party of principle. Not to get too off-track here but a good example of that would be 2008. Bob Barr was nominated as the Libertarian Presidential Candidate. That’s right, they nominated a candidate whom supported the Patriot Act and the drug war. Sure, he said he regretted it but really did he? Who knows.
I think the best thing for the LP to have done was to not nominated anyone and suggest instead folks vote for Ron Paul. Alas, that didn’t happen. No need to talk me out of that thought or try to rationalize it to me. I’ve read (I think) all the reasons and I just don’t agree. All right try and change my mind, I will as always, listen.
Anywho back on track…libertarian philosophy…classical liberalism…constitutional conservatism…and/or all of the other labels you might have heard. The primary principles behind libertarianism are non-force and individualism. I can’t force anyone to do something they don’t want to. I also can’t force someone not to do something just because I might think it’s a bad idea. Of course if my right to freedom is trampled on by you then I have a right to defend myself, if I so choose.
For example things that would be *unacceptable* would be physical assault on another individual and/or destruction/pollution of another’s property. I might think that people should all eat healthy (my definition of healthy) and humane foods as well as maintain a weight in a healthy range. However, from a libertarian perspective I have no right to force you to behave in that way or any other way for that matter. I can share my opinion but I can’t force anything.
Let’s take on the issue of drugs. For this discussion I’ll use cocaine as an example because it’s a pretty harsh one with some significant penalties but also one with which you can apparently do (or “maybe” do) and still be president. I think it’s a bad idea. Actually, I think it’s a terrible idea. I know first hand what it does to a person. My father did cocaine. I was there once when he was arrested with a pouch of the stuff. I can still see it sitting on his dresser and the cop in the doorway. No laws stopped him from doing it. No laws stopped him from selling it. No force stopped him from any of it, even his 10 year old daughter telling him it was a bad idea.
The arbitrary enforcement of these drug laws makes it all the worse. My father was arrested. Was Mr. Obama? My father spent time in jail. Did Mr. Obama? Should he now? Oh wait, he only *maybe* did a *little blow.* How do you not remember something like that?
Mixed message? It’s okay, as long as you don’t get caught. If we are going to bother to have a law shouldn’t they be at least 95% enforceable? If not we create an environment where police officers and other government officials have HUGE god-like powers over individuals. It’s an environment primed for corruption, an environment that feeds discontent, negativity, resentment and power.
Where might we be as a society if we created an environment that instead fostered trust, compassion, love, respect and understanding through freedom? You are the only one who knows best for you. Instead of blind obedience, forced quasi-respect and fear.
People do best when they learn for themselves. People do best when they are treated as the unique and competent individuals they are. Think about yourself. Do you like being told what to do? Do you like it when your family or friends tell you what is best for you? Do you often listen? Or do you feel judged and resentful? What if it comes from a stranger? Does that make you feel better about it?
I believe in maximum freedom and principles over laws.
Want to learn more about libertarian philosophy from someone other than me? Here are a few links: Reason, Reason TV, John Mackey, Daily Paul, Libertarian Party,Mises, Cato Institute, Ayn Rand and the Campaign for Liberty.
Unschooling
If I was to make a similar bumper sticker for unschooling it would be, Unschooling: Respect Your Children as the Unique and Competent Individuals They Are
The unschooling core principle is the same, non-force, creating the optimal environment for that learning. It’s about focusing on building relationships built on trust, love, respect and giving children opportunity and guidance (in a mentor/partner sense not a teacher way). It’s about choosing principles over rules.
The idea is that children learn naturally and when something is learned naturally it holds more value to the child/person and it ends up being retained and understood better than when something is taught. It works. I’ve seen it. I live it with my kids. And it truly is amazing.
Unschooling is about honoring the individual and understanding that each child is exactly that, an individual. An individual with his/her own unique motivations, interests, talents and inspirations. Of course there may by similarities between people/children but the whole of a person is often made up of past, personality, upbringing, relationships, biology, sociology and culture and I can think of no situation where all of those things are identical for any two people in the world.
I think institutionalizing our children like we today (in the US specifically) with daycare, mandatory kindergarten and preschool, compulsory grammar, middle and highschool is harmful to the development of the individual. I believe it has resulted in an increase (and will continue to do so, as we extend the compulsory age of attendance and lean toward longer days and year round schooling) in personality disorders. People growing up without a sense of identity, with no direction, no honest true self-direction. These people go on to work in fields they have no interest in. They find jobs that will pay the bills and don’t go beyond that. Then as adults with sense of self there is discontent with job, life and choices contributing to the “me me me” attitude (I have to find myself) that breaks up families and marriages.
If you grow up as part of a partnership. If you grow up with people that respect your ability to discern what you want to do with your life and who you want to be as opposed to being forced into those decisions by someone else or some institution, there can be something really wonderful there. By the time you are an adult you’ve figured out, for the most part, who you are…because you have always been allowed to be who you are.
I remember being told, You can be anything you want to be when you grow up. That’s what we were told in school but it was often followed with if you do this, this and this. Implying there is only one path to your dreams, one that requires you to be compliant, non-questioning listeners. There is a lot of talk lately amongst educational academic types of teaching critical thinking. I do not believe it is possible to teach critical thinking. I think to try and teach *critical thinking* in a controlled, compulsory environment is all the more absurd.
Unschooling (done well) is all critical thinking. It’s about recognizing everything as a choice (with emphasis on mindful choices) and having freedom to actually make decisions. I’m talking real choices, life choices, not choices born of fabricated academic exercises.
If you want more information about unschooling and/or natural learning here are some links: Sandra Dodd, Kelly Lovejoy, John Holt, Pam Sorooshian, Dayna Martin, Joyce Fetteroll, Peter Gray or any of the blogs listed in my blogroll under unschooling.
Libertarianism & Unschooling
Now here is the controversial part, 
like all that I wrote above isn’t out of the mainstream enough. I see unschooling as a clear extension of libertarian thought just as I see libertarian thought as a clear extension of unschooling. I don’t feel this in any sort of *religious* way. In other words I don’t think it’s the same as saying unschooling is an extension of Christianity or Law of Attraction or even Buddhism (despite the emphasis on mindfulness). I can see how those different philosophies can compliment (or provide inspiration for) unschooling but I don’t see these other things as clear *extensions* of unschooling as I do libertarian thought.
Unschooling, specifically radical/whole life unschooling and libertarian philosophy are at the very core the same. Individualism, in unschooling the kids are the individuals having freedom to make their own choices as long as those choices don’t infringe upon another individual. In the same way adults in a libertarian society are free to make their own choices as long as those choices don’t infringe on the right of others.
The following are a couple of examples of applying the concept of freedom/liberty first in unschooling then in libertarianism.
1. Creating an Honest Environment
- radical unschooling: Say you have a rule of no video games. Maybe your son goes to a friend’s house and they have a video game system. That friend is having a really good time and coaxing him to play too. It’s okay, I won’t tell your parents. Do you think your kid is feeling good about you at that moment? Who do you think your son trusts more at that moment? Do you think maybe you’ve bred an environment ripe for lies? Is that rule going to stop him from playing the game? Is the rule even enforcible without monitoring his every move?
- libertarian philosophy: There is a law against smoking pot. Does it stop people? Do you know someone who smokes pot? Did you turn them in? Would you turn them in? Do you think they are hurting anyone? Do they lie? Do they smoke in public? Are they fearful of getting caught? Do you think the law creates a trust in government or authority?
2. Experts
- unschooling: You learn along side your child. Sometime they impart some knowledge onto you or you impart some bit of wisdom onto them but it’s freely given and taken. You are no more their teacher than they are yours.
- libertarian philosophy: In a libertarian society (or here for a little while after 1776) the small, limited government is made up of citizens. Not upper class types with lots of letters after their names. A society of the people, for the people, by the people…NOT a society of a people, run by other smarter, more experiencedpeople who know better than all the others.
3. Inspiration & Motivation
- unschooling: Inspiration and motivation is individual and allowed to freely develop into passionate learning without restrictions. If your child loves bugs, they can sit and observe bugs all day long, or draw, write and talk about bugs and only bugs if that is what inspires them. When inspiration is so pure and limitless motivation follows in a pure, almost unstoppable way, and the learning thrives.
- libertarian philosophy: When people are free to pursue their inspirations without a lot of red tape beautiful things can result like pacemakers being built in garages.
4. Choices
- unschooling: Children are free to make their own choices, so long as they are not hurting another individual.
- libertarian philosophy: Adults are free to make their own choices, as long as they are not infringing on another’s rights.
There are tons of examples, like these, some probably better than the ones I’ve given while some not as good. But to keep this from becoming a book as opposed to a blog entry I’ll wrap it up here…for now.
Peace,
Kelly
Posted by Kelly Halldorson
8 Jul 2010
Photo by: Wolfgang Halldorson, Model: Zoe Halldorson
Just a quick rundown of our really cool day.
I wake up. Jeff heats up my water for my shower. Zoe and Griffin are up. I take the moths out of the freezer that I caught last night so I can take some photos outside. Both moths are still alive and well and I get some pretty good shots!
I look up info on one of them and find it’s a Tiger Moth and it starts as a woolly bear caterpillar. It’s too cool. Woolly Bear Caterpillars are my favorite and this Tiger Moth is too! While searching I find an awesome website: What’s That Bug?
The kids catch me a butterfly and another caterpillar. I get good shots of both. All before 10:00 am.
I bathe. The kids bathe. We bring Wolfgang and Zoe to a job. Zoe is mother’s helper and Wolfgang is doing some yard work. Jeff and I take Griffin to Portsmouth to get his tooth fixed. It’s early so we stop at Starbucks. Who stops in but Tom Bergeron. Griffin asks him if he minds getting a photo with him.
We go to get the tooth fixed. It doesn’t go as we’d been told so there was a bit of a bump there. Griffin needs a root canal so they started that. He has to go back in 6 weeks. He was supposed to get the tooth built up but since it was hurting him they wouldn’t do it but instead started a root canal. I’m a little grumpy about all that but…it will work out.
Stop at Walmart so Griffin can look around. On the way out there were some young, hungry travelers looking for food. We stop and take their picture and give them some water and five dollars. That felt good.
We pick up Zoe and Wolfgang then went to go check out an old school bus for sale in Rochester. It was really cool and blue.
We go do the laundry in Dover. The kids ask if they can walk around with my camera. They come back with lots of pictures and video. My favorite is at the top of the page.
After we finish the laundry Jeff and I take a walk and the kids go walk around on their own and video/interview people about libertarianism. We end up at La Festa and meet up with the Liberty Meet-up group. We meet Chris Sununu (his father used to sign your money…don’t believe me go pull out an older bill) and get to ask him lots of questions about his run for Executive Council. Apparently his wife is a Libertarian…if only we could give him a little reason.
We leave La Festa and head home. I make scrambled eggs (local NOT factory farmed) for all while Jeff, Zoe and Griffin get water for tomorrow. Wolfgang takes care of the dogs and goes online. Zoe heads to bed early. I go in the room and work on the computer while Jeff snoozes next to me. Griffin builds things with his legos and Wolfgang is busy making music on his computer, still.
And as of conversations and learning today, some of the topics included…libertarianism, war, troops, peace, ideas for peace, girlfriends, relationships, moths, butterflies, stars, dancing with the stars, laughter, funny pictures, PJ O’Rourke, video interview questions, what makes a good web video, music, software, dogs, what kind of animals are around the house, how to get the water running faster, greenhouses, government, environmental programs, social programs, bodies of water, foreign policy, republican, democrat, governor’s council, elected offices, districts, distribution of powers, state vs. federal, drug war, drugs, troubled people, compassion, family, traveling, school buses, places to go, where to visit, when to leave, what to do on the road, life, purpose, goals, family, choices, reason, working, babysitting, mother’s helper, gardening, weeding, painting, inspiration, little kids, babies, breastfeeding, …and that is only one tiny tiny little piece of it.
Damn, I feel lucky.
Peace,
Kelly
Posted by Kelly Halldorson
6 Jul 2010
Like many others we are struggling financially. Actually struggling doesn’t even begin to cut it.
Two years ago we were struggling but we had a nice Victorian home we rented. All the kids had there own room. We had a nice vehicle, a Suburban without problems. We had lots of books and were walking distance to the public pool and downtown.
Today we have very little in the way of things. Very little. We live in a rundown trailer. We had to divide the back room into two separate rooms, one for the boys and one for Zoe. The rooms barely fit their beds. Most of our things got damaged in the move. Wolfgang quit playing hockey (for a team), in part, it was just too expensive.
About a week and a half ago, our electricity was shut off. That’s right, we have no power. We need way more money than we have to turn it back on. Part of what we owe is leftover from that Victorian we rented in Dover. I didn’t shut the electricity off to it when we left so what we owe includes a number of months we were not living there. It’s not something I’m upset about, at least not in the way of being resentful. I owe the money. We owe the money. And I don’t mind paying even for the time we weren’t living there because I feel we left abruptly and even wish we could do more for the landlord. They were great people we were caught just up with what was going on with us. I want to pay it.
We also have medical bills, student loans, even some tax stuff we have to sort out (although, I don’t believe we’ll end up owing anything there). We were weren’t/aren’t big on credit cards so it’s not like we have a lot of that kind of debt. It’s just life stuff. If we ever had something big to buy like a computer or whatever we’d just put the money aside and buy it outright. We didn’t do credit.
Neither Jeff or I have been working for a year and a half. Not working at a job, anyway. It’s not that we haven’t been working really. It’s that we have shifted completely the way we do things. Jeff used to go out and work and work and work at big construction jobs (which with the economy there really aren’t any now even if that’s what we wanted). He lived a life separate from us. And we lived a life separate from him. He was never home and my life with the kids had started to run parallel to his. It wasn’t good for any of us.
Today we focus on living a life that inspires us and our children. We focus on our life with the kids and our relationships with them and each other. We work toward reducing suffering through vegetarianism, we volunteer, we advocate for sexual assault victims (and have written a published a book all in the last year) and do our best to give positively to the world and the people around us. This has become our priority, our full-time job. What living this life entails is more work than anything we’ve done before, but with it comes more joy, love and connection.
We don’t take advantage of government programs like welfare, food stamps, public schools etc. because we feel it’s a violation of our core principles. We are not opposed to charity, in fact, we had a fundraiser to help publish our book and I just added a donate button to this very page. It’s just if we are to take advantage of any generosity we want to know for sure it was freely given.
Presently our biggest efforts are finding ways to earn income to feed, house and clothe ourselves and our children in a way that is conducive to our family living. But as with most new ventures there is a building period and in many ways it’s as though we are starting from scratch. I’m confident that our book, my photography, this blog, our Homeschool webshow and Jeff’s illustration work, our children’s book projects, my video work etc. will evolve to a point where we are not only financially stable but we have paid back all our debts and can give financially to causes that matter to us. We just are not there *yet* — keep watching us and you’ll see we’ll make it!
How are we getting by now?
We barter with our landlord for rent, right now we are building a greenhouse for him. A commercial sized greenhouse. We’ve sold a lot of our stuff, including most of Jeff’s larger tools. We share a cell phone. It’s a Boost Mobile phone that costs only $50/mo for unlimited use. We have another pay as you go phone around for when the kids need one but we probably put $10/mo on it…if that. We had to give our Suburban back to the bank last year. To get around we borrowed a couple of vehicles from friends and in January we bought a little Subaru for $500. It’s beat up but it runs and gets us to our groups and little jobs and it uses next to nothing in gas. We don’t pay for internet. We’ve found some WiFi spots around where we live and/or we go to Barnes and Noble or Starbucks (currently I’m sitting in Starbucks).
The loss of our electricity has been a gift in many ways. Laugh…but it has. It’s brought us even closer and shown us just how much we can actually deal with and still be happy. Really, truly happy.
Our goal as a family is to get out on the road. To travel around and meet other homeschooling/unschooling families. Last December we traded Jeff’s 1971 Harley Sporster for an RV. We took it on a couple of trips but now it needs a transmission. And we’ve been looking at school buses. We’d like to pick one up and convert it into a living space then travel around and meet, interview and video other families. Families that unschool. Families that public school. Families that homeschool. Families that private school. Families. Lots of Families.
The kids have been living with less than they are used to materially for the last year and a half. However they are living with MORE than they are used to freedom wise over the last year and a half. Because we’ve shifted to whole life unschooling. Our kids are free to make choices for themselves. They can choose when to get up, when to go to bed, when to read a book, when to build something, when to create, when to use play video games, when to play outside and so much more.
Some people might look at us and see neglectful parents, parents with kids that don’t have a lot of rules and don’t even have electricity…but those people would be so far from reality. Jeff and I have *never* been more attentive to the needs of our children than we have been this past year. We talk with them constantly about what their individual interests and goals are. We are WITH them nearly all the time. We bring them on adventures. We introduce them to more families and children who may or may not live how we do. We talk with them but more importantly we listen to them. We answer questions. We discuss. We find resources for their interests. Which include music, building, friends, technology, welding, boating, animals…and more of course…there is always more.
As a result we have children that write things like this. Kids that don’t complain about taking a bath with buckets of water (without electricity we have no running water). Kids that help lug the five gallon buckets of water from the greenhouse across the street every day. Kids that are actually excited about figuring out how to design a system of running/hot water that we’ll be able to transfer into an RV/Bus once we get one for the road. Kids that are just truly amazing.
When I hear people complaining about things like their AC going out, or their husband not taking out the trash I almost don’t know what to think. I’m living with no electricity. Actually, we do have a generator that we run for a few hours a day. No running water (though we think we have that figured out so we should have it in the next couple of days). Our vehicle has not AC. We are mostly broke. We owe a lot of money.
Not to mention all the that is going on in the world at large…war, the oil spill…sigh…so much…
If you look at all the things we have against us it sounds like we have a miserable life. Then you look again and you see…
A husband and wife who have made it through infidelity, financial problems and much more. A couple who in the course of a year’s time have written and published a book that has moved and inspired literally hundreds of people all over the world.
A man who has decided to change his life for the better. A man who isn’t hiding from his past and is willing to put himself (and his skeletons) out for the world to see. A man who is dedicating his life to being a better husband and father. A man who is learning to be more compassionate and patient.
A woman that likes to take pictures and writes writes writes…with the aim of inspiring others in a peaceful way.
Three kids that I could write pages and pages about how great they are.
No, NONE of us are perfect. But we ARE happy. We ARE loving. We ARE compassionate. We ARE inspired. And we LOVE to learn.
Five people that love each other. Kids that love to learn and parents that are engaged and resourceful in finding ways to facilitate that learning. Whether it’s finding opportunities for the kids to earn money so they can buy things like iPods or a netbook or taking them on adventures to meet new people and have new experiences. A family that doesn’t just talk about their days but actually experience their days together. Kids that are allowed to be exactly who they are.
A family that chooses to live life by their own rules.
Creating love in these hard times is easy. You just have to choose to do it. Choose to see it. Choose to learn it. Choose to LIVE it.
Peace,
Kelly
Posted by Kelly Halldorson
4 Jul 2010
On June 24th we visited the Maple Farm Sanctuary, here is what our friend Mimi (from O2 Yoga Studios) had to say about the visit…followed by some photos I took at the sanctuary. I am putting together a full 20 minute Homeschool Gone Child episode of our adventure too.
I was the first of what we hope to be many trips down to help.
Posted by Kelly Halldorson
25 Jun 2010
Today while Jeff was remodeling a friend’s bathroom Zoe and I were at the table in the kitchen on the computers. She was sitting right next to me. She asked for some headphones and not long after I handed them to her she started uttering little phrases in German. I think I’ve wrote about Zoe’s interest in language before. She really loves to research, read about, translate etc other languages.
German was her pick of the day. She sat at that computer and practiced German using Google translate. You know it actually gives you the pronunciation?! What she did was type in English phrases and then read and practice saying the words aloud. She got a kick out of this one…
When I took her picture she said “I know your taking my picture” in German. She did a great job. She loved it and she had fun! It didn’t stop there though…the conversation continued through the rest of the day and it tied into other languages, history, government and art. Marvelous connections and conversation.
It was another one of those wow unschooling really works moments.
It’s an incredible life. Thanks so much for allowing me to share it with you.
Peace,
Kelly
Posted by Kelly Halldorson
19 Jun 2010
That’s how it all started. That video. That song. Sort of anyway.
Wolfgang mentioned that he liked some Eminem songs. I half cringed and half nodded my head. Zoe piped up and said, “I remember when you used to get really mad because the neighbors listened to Eminem.”
She was talking about when we lived in another town, years ago. I’m talking seven years ago. She was five. Our neighbors (it was an apartment/triplex) had two boys each a year older than our boys. They would sit out on their back porch and BLAST it while rapping along to the worst of the worst lyrics. Something about a young boys rapping about…well all the stuff Eminem writes about. It just turned me right off.
It’s funny to me she remembered. I must have complained about it way more than I thought. Way more.
After I got over the initial semi-repulsion when Wolfgang told me he liked a couple of songs. I took a deep breath and I approached it with a little more open mind. I said, “He’s got some really unpleasant songs. I mean really bad. But he is very catchy…the rhythm is always good and the words…He’s good at what he does.” This evolved into a whole discussion about what some of those negative lyrics are that bother me so much. Wolfgang told me the stuff he’s heard and likes isn’t anything like that. He also told me his cousin is really into him too.
My intrigue peeked. I asked him what the songs were that he liked. He told me Beautiful & When I’m Gone. He also said he thought that not only would I like Beautiful but I would cry if I heard When I’m Gone. Today he played the video for me. He was right, I cried and they both were pretty beautiful. I love Paul Rogers voice so he sounds amazing in the intro to Beautiful and then there is When I’m Gone the song Wolfgang calls his favorite rap song ever.
It’s worth watching and me…maybe I’m reading too much into it but it really fills me with warm and fuzziness. It’s a song about a father recognizing he’s failing his child. It’s about his struggle to step up and be the husband and father he really wants to be but doesn’t quite know how yet. It really parallels much of our life and I think in a way it really shows that Wolf has compassion for himself and Jeff and their relationship is healing. That is a beautiful thing.
I opened myself up to something I looked at as mostly negative and I saw something else entirely. Now, that’s not to say I don’t think a lot of his other work is negative. It just means to me…it’s not all bad and there is some beauty in it if you’re open to seeing it. Wolf and I have talked about those other songs. His cousin (really cool kids <3) had some lyrics to one of Eminem songs on her page...he listened to that one and didn't like it as much.
Then he looked up a bunch of others Eminem songs and wasn’t completely thrilled with some of the other lyrics either but he found the new CD Eminem has coming out this month is full of positive recovery songs…hence the name…Recovery
Interestingly enough last year he released an album called Relapse in May that has a song about the sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of his step-father.
The chorus is the following…
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I’ve completely lost it
is he nuts? no, he’s insane
That album was released two months after we posted Skeletons Don’t Sleep on Authonomy. He was writing about his skeletons…while we were writing ours. It blew me away when I listened to it. And in case you’re considering listening yourself…it is EXTREMELY graphic…so much that I’m not even going to post it here.
It’s neat to me to see all these connections - connections I may not have been open to seeing a ten years ago. I love being open to seeing more of the perspectives. Eminem? He’s not all bad. He’s not all good either. I’ll join with Wolfgang though and celebrate the good.
Peace,
Kelly
Posted by Kelly Halldorson
17 Jun 2010
In a matter of months my youngest will be turning 13 years old and Jeff and I will be the parents of three teenagers. You think I’d be dreading it. Teenagers we are told are horrible, obnoxious, self-righteous brats. I mean, we all were. Were we not? I think…maybe not.
So far I’m finding the teen years to be exciting, joyous and full of learning. No, my kids are not perfect but neither am I. What my teens (and soon to be teen) are is unique, inspiring individuals that I am ever so grateful experiencing life with. I am humbled as I watch their wisdom grow, their minds expand and their futures develop.
Wolfgang is interested in making music, being a DJ, and a filmmaker. Griffin’s latest interest is in welding. He’d like to be an underwater welder. We found a couple of folks willing to help him with that and hopefully he’ll be welding soon. Zoe’s love is for art and writing. She creates, dabbles in dirt, writes and reads…and this morning she said she thinks she’d like to be an archeologist when she is older.
All three share their interests and goals with Jeff and I with enthusiasm and spirit. They talk with us openly and comfortably about most things other parents fear talking to their kids about…drugs, sex, violence, lying, philosophy, politics, choices…and the list goes on. We listen and appreciated their unique perspectives.
I owe most of it to the biggest shift in our lives, we aim to practice non-coercive parenting. We focus on our relationship with our children and learning. All of us learning, together. Mindfulness. Choices. Values. Inspiration.
Learning happens all the time. We, as parents, try to create the optimal environment for positive learning through enriching activities, adventures, resources and discussion. Lots of discussion. Did I say LOTS of discussion?
Our children are our friends and we are their partners in learning. We ARE *still* their parents and their guides but we focus on respecting them as individuals and not demanding their compliance and/or servitude. We are *NOT* trying to be the cool buddy buddy type parents that buy their kids beer and throw anything goes parties for groups of teens. We want to be GOOD friends/mentors to our kids…not negative ones!
We are raising free people. It’s incredible, free teens don’t have a need to rebel…at least not in the same way as other kids. They make poor choices here and there (don’t we all) but for the most part if it’s a big choice…a life altering choice…they talk to us to get our feedback first.
I feel so honored to be their mother.
<3 Kelly
Posted by Kelly Halldorson
12 Jun 2010
Today we spent the day at our friends the Carpenter’s home. Jeff helped Steve and some friends sand down Cicada his family’s wooden sail boat he has been rebuilding for the last year.
The kids hung out with the Carpenter boys and I worked on the new blog design, took photos, caught frogs, chased chickens and talked with the kids. It was great day. One of those days that remind you how wonderful it is to have really great friends.
Here are a few shots from the day…
Don’t worry he’s alive ….
Peace,
Kelly
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