Last spring Jeff stood out in the crowd at Times Square with a sign. The sign read, I was a victim of child sexual assault. He stood there for three hours and the kids and I filmed while most people walked by as if he wasn’t even there. A handful of people did stop and some would pat him as they walked by or tell him they were sorry.

Next year on April 17th we are going to do it again and we want you there with us. Together let us show people the many faces of child sexual assault. Our wish would be to have young people, older people, men, woman, everyday folks, celebrities, a myriad of  ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds.

We’ll be filming three sessions on that day, Times Square, Grand Central & Central Park. Exact times and details will be announced as they are ironed out. I will also be interviewing survivors between now and then (and probably some after too) if you are willing to be interviewed AND you think you can make it for the NYC filming PLEASE…contact me at skeletons@halldorson.com

Imagine what kind of impact we could have if it wasn’t just a man with a sign but instead was many with signs.

I’ll be working on setting up the Event/Project with it’s own page but for now if you are interested in updates sign up here. If you think you can be of help in anyway…please email us directly at skeletons@halldorson.com

Interviews will be about…

• your story of abuse
• what happened when you disclosed
• is your abuser free?
• were you believed?
• have you helped others
• have you written a book, made a movie, started a foundation?
• what do YOU think can be done

This project isn’t just about Jeff’s story it’s about all of your stories…please be a part of it. And forward it to anyone you think would be willing to participate.

So please please please consider joining us in New York City next spring we’ll probably even bring the giant skeleton…

PLEASE SHARE THIS FAR AND WIDE

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

Here are a few of them. They are all taken with the Canon Powershot SD1200S, Digital Elph by 13 year old Griffin.

You can view the whole album of 36 photos here. Enjoy and thanks for stopping by.

Peace,

Kelly

I have sat back and watched the commotion of the last few days. I have seen the good and bad in people. I have listened as individuals tried to sway others toward and away from different perspectives.

Here is what I do know. My name is Jeff Halldorson, my wife’s name is Kelly Halldorson. These are our names, they are real and they are the ones that appears on our driver license, our mail. They are real as we are real people.

I know that Best Cookie is not someone’s given name and that person on the other end has a real name. It is yet just a name.

My name is Jeff Halldorson and I was sexual assaulted for many years by James Halldorson, prison inmate # 78719. I know he is there because Kelly and I put him there. For the next 20 to 40 years children have one less predator to worry about.

I wanted to write about the nasty emails and the lies that have been caught, the Kool aid being passed around like bad acid at a Dead show. I wanted to send out angry words and retaliations for the nasty things being said about my wife…

My wife… oh the one that let all the posts go through uncensored no matter how nasty. The one that did not remove the harshest of words on facebook, let all of you say that wanted and get their word in on that platform… I can not say that for the other half.

Yes even I often forget what it was like as she held my hand and carried me through the sentencing of my father… my sexual assaulter. It is often that I get absent minded and take for granted the woman that held me up when I was at my weakest.

I see the word that people have said with the intent to hurt and I know that they are misguided. Kelly is not one to self promote so I feel the need do it for her. To defend her if you will…

To those of you that do not know Kelly (her real name used here) she has been helping those with deep, sad stories of physical and sexual abuse for many years. When we wrote our book it was Kelly that took the high road when Harper Collins asked us to publish under a synonym. We agreed not to because I would be dishonest to the reader. We wouldn’t be accountable for what we wrote. It was Kelly that would not take the payday and run… I wish it had been me but it wasn’t.

It is my loving wife that has convinced me that in order to help we must do it willingly and without attachment, to this we have sent out countless E-books, even to some of you, at no cost so that we may share in our triumphs and failures, to heal together as a united survivor of a horrific crime perpetrated on us by the sick and evil. To allow others to see where I have failed and the affects that it has on the world around me. So that others may relate or learn. So as not put a monetary value on sharing and healing.

My wife is not jealous of anyone. Kelly gives, and gives, and gives to a point that it takes a toll on her. She doesn’t give to you. She gives to us, her family, to me her husband and her children. She gives herself completely to us and with no strings, it is often hard to except and sometimes intimidating to see a person so committed. I see in her what I want to achieve and why.

To the rest of you she shares, her words and the sights she sees. She shows a world through a camera filtered through the human heart. She shares the joys of life that is found when you are willing to clean it up after a fall in the mud.

Speaking of mud, now that you all have had a chance to throw some around you can throw it my way if you want. I have seen far worse that what you can throw.

Erin’s books enraged me. I do not apologize for that. I do not apologize for questioning her, her motives and her story. Believe me it was hard to come to my personal conclusions. I did not take the matter lightly. If in fact her story is true then a great injustice has been done and she needs to fire her editor and re-write the book. I don’t care if you want to compare it to my editor or not that is not what we are saying. Her books read TO ME like a confused mess and someone need to get the story straight.

I took the books to others and asked them to read them. I gave them to another survivor and asked for an unbiased opinion. I gave it to an education professional and asked for the same.

Just as I came to my opinions so did Kelly. They are OUR opinions. We want others to have their own opinions, to come to their own conclusions. To discuss it in an open, free dialoged.

Spend some time with us, with Kelly. Look through her pictures and read her words. Then you might know where her thought are when it comes to writing about Erin. To see the human behind the words may give you a different perspective. To understand that the word forgiveness is not a word used lightly. That an honest and true apology is not to be taken for granted.

Erin Merryn is not a real person. It is a name made up to hide the identity of girl that has had her world turned upside down. The fact that it is not her real name means a lot to me. It means that the consequences for the words are different. If you don’t believe that I will tell you from experience that it is. I cannot hide from my words I have no choice but to be responsible for them. Kelly taught me that.

The person behind the name Erin Merryn is another story. All the characters have different names and different outcomes. “Brian” is not “Brian” but someone else nameless to us, and from what we are told running around hurting others. Anyone of us or our children, our daughters or sisters could be hanging out with him and we wouldn’t even know he was the key to a book.

That is why we do not hide from who we are.

I am Jeff Halldorson, sexual assault survivor, man, husband, father, author and artist. My name defines me it is the last name of the man that assaulted me…

It is the last name of my wife Kelly Halldorson, Uncensored and she is my hero… throw your mud.

This will probably be one of the most negative entries you’ll see on this blog. I’ve been putting off writing for nearly half a year. Debating with myself, Jeff and the few friends we’ve shared Erin’s books with whether it’s something that we should bring to light or not. I dabbled in discussing it in another entry but couldn’t bring myself to talk about it specifically. I still don’t know what the right thing to do is. So, best I can do is tell you what I think and hope you pick up her books and/or research her and decide for yourself.

Towards the end of our Skeletons Don’t Sleep project I was busy with promotion and publishing stuff. Jeff had finished the bulk of his part of the project and was feeling idle whilst struggling to try and reply to all of the emotional emails we were receiving from people who’d seen our video/s. He decided to read someone else’s story.  At a trip to Barnes and Noble he found the book Living for Today by Erin Merryn. Seeing as it was published through HCI the company that publishes the works of Dave Pelzer, A Child Called It author, we felt it to be credible.

While still at Barnes and Noble we did a little research and were impressed with the reviews of the book and intrigued by her story. I friended her on facebook and sent her a note that we just picked up her book and thanked her for her efforts, for the cause of child sexual assault. We also told her we were working on our own book and that it had just been published. We told her if she was interested we’d be happy to send her a copy. She accepted our friend request but didn’t reply to our note. We didn’t think much because well we send messages to tons of people, some very busy people and we know first hand how hard it is to reply to all of our messages.

Any way Jeff sat on the bed that night reading next to me while I was doing Skeletons work. Less than a chapter in he started making little comments. What? I don’t understand…Huh?…How did this book get? After a couple of hours of listening to his huffing and puffing (and me dismissing him) I finally stopped what I was doing and asked him to tell me what was bothering him so much about the book.

He said he didn’t understand how it had gotten published. It was confusing most of what she was saying didn’t make sense…and so on and so forth. This is a book that a few hours before he was actually looking forward to reading and felt a great deal of compassion for the author. I responded again, somewhat dismissively, with something like Jeff it’s probably just how it was written. Do you just not like the way it was written? It had to be hard to write, you of all people should know that. Then I got back on task.

About an hour later he said, I’ve had enough of this! And tossed the book. If this is a true story, they should have helped her edit it better. I feel really bad for her if it is because this doesn’t sound legit.

The next day he was still fuming about the book. I asked if he’d read me any passages that bothered him. The first couple I made excuses for her, insisting that we assume her intent was truth and empowerment for sexual assault victims. Then gradually I couldn’t take it either…it all seemed so incredibly fabricated. We searched for an ordered her first book, Stolen Innocence while together we read the rest of Living for Today.

I literally could write a book about the things that seem wrong with Living for Today, Ms. Merryn and her effort to get a law *for children* named after her, Erin’s Law (that’s a whole other blog entry!). And as I said at the beginning of this entry I have been struggling with whether or not to write about it at all but after getting word this young woman is going to be on the Oprah show advocating for victims I felt as though it would be irresponsible not to air my concerns publicly.

I’ll start with, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness. The title includes a reference to forgiveness.

From page 178:

Forgiveness begins with picking off the scab and exposing the wound no one can see but you. For that wound to completely heal, you must be able to let go of bitterness and anger and allow empathy and love to fill your heart and soul.

From page: 177

I do not judge those who cannot, no do I preach forgiveness to survivors. I only share the gift I have found in my own journey to forgiveness.

She must define forgiveness very differently from me because in the same book sometimes on the same pages she writes of her courage to forgive she goes on to write things like this…

page 7-8

His sick, twisted behavior was well thought out {referring to her 13/14 year old cousin who abused her}

page 19

Reading this letter again more than ten years after he {an uncle who supported her cousin} wrote and sent it, I still want to scream at Mike and tell him what a jerk his is.

page 31

Brian used his manipulative, controlling behaviors to silence his two cousins for his own sick pleasure.

page 34-35

Mike is the disturbed old man

What a sad, pathetic man.

page 49 {talking about grandfather’s objections to her appearance on national TV and speaking at a local school young family members attended}

It is too painful to even think of ever talking to my grandpa again without his first apologizing for his inappropriate remarks to my father about my sister and me.

My father eventually had to explain to Grandma that we did not want the Christmas presents, for they were painful reminders from the grandparents who had disowned us. The only gift I will accept from my grandparents is an apology for their words and actions, which would show accountability instead of denial. I hope one day they will consider this. Unfortunately, it appears they believe they owe us no apology.

page 54

Because of my incredible faith and ability to forgive, I was able to put Satan in his place and show him that he messed with the wrong person.

This literally goes on and on. I could continue to post snippets of examples of what *I* see as non-forgiveness but I’ll probably get sued for copyright infringement because I’ll be posting nearly all of the text of her book. Not to mention I still have some other problems/contradictions/issues about the book to cover.

Before I leave the subject of forgiveness I’ll give you two more recent examples of her non-forgiveness I found on her blog.

He will always be a scumbag

Erinmerryn | November 10, 2009

He is an evil, weak, sick, twisted, lying, scumbag that I not only have conquered but forgiven.

I received a phone call Sunday from this scumbags sister who informed me the man I call Richard in my 2nd book spent all summer in jail. AMEN!

read the rest of her entry here.

Then there is gem of forgiveness…the emphasis (bold type) is as it appears on Erin’s blog.

“Brian”

Erinmerryn | July 1, 2010

…..

Looking back at some of those emails last night the same emails he sent me that I published in my first and second book I read them now and I just read the words of a liar. A sick, evil, narcissistic, and manipulating predator! A part of me immediately wanted to walk up and confront him face to face the next time I see him and tell him that I know he is still a sick evil man and tell him he won’t get away with assaulting women forever and one day he will be held responsible.

read her full entry here.

The premise of her second memoir Living for Today is supposed to be about Erin’s disclosure of a *deeper* secret of more serious abuse than she originally wrote about in her first book, Stolen Innocence. Her first book was about the abuse she (and her younger sister) endured at the hands of her cousin. The book is her diary when she was suffering from the abuse. Abuse that by her account went on for almost two years starting when she was 11 years old. Her abuser, her cousin, “Brian” was two years older. The book is never specific about his age at the time of the start of the abuse but if you do the math it would appear he was 13, despite being a teenager (and a young one at that) Erin repeatedly refers to him in the book as the man who stole the innocence of a little girl (being her, just two years younger than the man).

Her description of the assaults are disturbing and for the most part believable. Her cousin even admits to three counts of assault when he is interrogated by police (for hours without his parents present). However, some of the specifics seem to be exaggerated, specifically her role. I have nothing to place my finger on other than she over explains and over explains and over explains, ends relationships with relatives, is ridiculously self-righteous and demands apologies from anyone that suggests she isn’t the amazing hero she believes herself to be.

The deeper secret was that she claims to have been molested multiple times and raped by a big black man (she repeatedly points out that he was a big African-American man) at the age of six. The book covers her disclosure to her parents and police. She originally says there were two other girls present for the molestation and claims to have witnessed both other girls being abused.

Now here comes just a few of the million little holes in her story.

First and one of the biggest ones. She claims to have found drawings she had done as a child that document the rape by the large black man. Drawings that *nobody* had ever found until she was days away from disclosing the rape to her parents. Drawings Erin found, herself (while alone), in a folder of childhood artwork she and her mother had looked through together just couple of years prior but never noticed. She attributes not finding the drawings then (with her loving mother by her side) to God knowing she wasn’t ready to see them.

page 75

I could not believe what I was seeing, and it had been there for anyone to see. Why was I finding these sixteen years later stored away in my parent’s crawl space? A few years earlier I had come across that same folder but took out only one or two pictures as my mom and I laughed at how I drew people when I was little. Had we continued to look at all of the papers, we would have discovered it.

Second, her story is that this large black man that assaulted her was the uncle of a friend named Ashley. The friend she never mentions in her diary (or her first book) despite being best friends. She discloses to her parents and to the police. The police open and investigation and find her alleged large black man rapist. They investigate. They interview family. Child Protective Services is called because there is another young girl living with him. The best friend, Ashley, she claims to have seen abused and claims knew about her abuse doesn’t remember anything.

page 224

I took Ashley and her mom through all of the abuse I endured.

“Ashley, do you have any memory of this?”

She shook her head. “I can’t confirm or deny it ever happening.”

“Do you think you could have repressed it?”

That’s a snippet from the final chapter in Living for Today. The chapter is called A NEW PROMISE and it has to be one of the saddest things I have ever read. You read as Erin discusses her “abuse” and plants idea after idea with leading questions and explanations. The sister, Tonia, of “Richard” - Erin’s alleged rapist -and the mother of the Ashley recounts her own story of sexual abuse as a child and guilt at the very idea that maybe she put her own daughter/s in possible danger. And Erin feeds her.

They also never find or even remember the *other* friend that was supposed to have witnessed and been victim to the abuse.

Both books, Erin’s blog and her successful efforts to have a LAW named after her (one that requires all publicly schooled children in Illinois be taught about child sexual assault - don’t even get me started on that) all ooze of horrific narcissism.

I’m all for self-promotion. I mean I do enough of it. I’m all for and extremely in supportive of the idea of speaking out against abuse and sharing your story. But after reading Erin’s books, visiting her site, watching some of her videos (check out this one for starters: http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=561&promo_id=1) I was left feeling dirty. Not dirty in the way you’d think, given the topic she covers but dirty in the way of something just isn’t right here.

My opinion is she was assaulted by her cousin. There was some miscommunication and he obviously went too far. Then she wrote a book and started speaking. She went to school and got her Master’s in social work. She heard tons of other stories, more horrific stories than her own. She didn’t feel like a powerful enough voice. She remembered a weird black man from childhood…and…her voice stronger voice was born.

I don’t know Erin. I don’t have any reason whatsoever to want to make her look bad. I think she makes herself look bad.

This is from the epilogue in Living for Today

I have survived sexual abuse and rape. I have reached a new place in my life that goes beyond just surviving. I have recently discovered a place in my recovery: no longer healing but completely healed. This wound no longer haunts me.

Really? Did you get that impression from the quotes above or from her blog entries? I certainly didn’t and I know from my experience with Jeff, among other things, that it doesn’t work like that and it is an insult to all the survivors out there to imply it does. I also find it disturbing how she seems to exaggerate the experiences with her cousin. What happened sounds terrible. Period. There is no need to make it sound worse than it was and by doing so she lessens the pain of victims of more serious abuse. And believe me I/we’ve heard stories from survivors (since we’ve been giving away free copies of our book to survivors) that I can’t even begin to describe. It’s heartbreaking really.

I’ve written this and although it might sound terribly harsh (and I’ve actually held back a LOT) I really hope I’m wrong. I’d hate for Erin to become Oprah’s next James Frey. So, please don’t take my word for it or even Jeff’s word for it. Pick up her books, check out her website and decide for yourself.

Lastly, I’ll leave you with Erin’s own words…

Living for Today, page 14

I learned that people from all walks of life are capable of things that may seem out of character or unimaginable.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1658 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1643 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1643#comments Mon, 30 Aug 2010 18:54:13 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1643

While at the Northeast Unschooling Conference in Wakefield, Mass this past weekend I had the pleasure of sitting down with Carsie Blanton. She is an amazing singer-songwriter whom currently resides in Philadelphia. Her music is of the witty-adventurous-poppy-jazzy-folk-crunchy-lovely-touching-joyful sort while her voice proves to be commanding yet gentle instrument when witnessed live.

If you ever get a chance to see her live I highly recommend. You won’t be disappointed.

Carsie was unschooled and is entirely self-taught: vocally, lyrically and musically.

Here is the first of two videos I plan to post from my discussion with Carsie. I also have the full discussion in an audio file…that will be posted soon enough too.

Hopefully this sparks your interest in this fascinating young woman and you hop over to her site and buy her album/s or check out her blog. Either which way it’s worth it.

Other things to look forward to seeing here over the next two weeks so be sure to subscribe and/or stop back by REAL soon…

• The second installment of my interview with Carsie
• A video of Erica Goldson reading her speech w/ Q&A @ the Northeast Unschooling Conference (NEUC).
• Interview with Peter Gray & video/audio of his talk at NEUC
• Interview with grown unschooler and potter Brenna McBroom
• Interview with Ren Allen
• Review of Erin Merryn’s books
• Commentary on Erin’s Law
• Another installment of The Weekly Worth It

And a LOT more…

Peace & as always thank-you for taking time out of your life to visit my tiny little corner of the Internet.

Kelly

This past month we’ve had a couple of opportunities to be surrounded by like-minded people, at least in respect to how our children are educated (there is still PLENTY of diversity in other respects: religion, politics, interests etc). And the biggest thing I have to say about it is…it’s really wonderful and energizing.

When you live a life that is so far outside mainstream culture it can get pretty hard. No matter how confident you are in your parenting choices when you are surrounded only by disapproving extended family and/or neighbors and friends you can’t help but let it get to you. And when I say let it get to you…I mean questioning your life, your choices, your instincts but I don’t mean in that good way we should all be questioning things. I mean that negative, crappy, what’s wrong with me and am I a bad parent kind of way.

Thankfully, I’ve started to really understand that I can choose who I associate with and that Jeff, the kids and I have the power to limit contact with individuals we don’t feel good around. We can also choose who we DO want to put our time and energy into. And that is exactly what these last couple of weeks have been about.

I have lots of cool stuff coming for the blog over the next week or two (interviews with Dr. Peter Gray, Ren Allen, Carsie Blanton, Erica Goldson & Brenna McBroom). Right now I’m sitting in a hotel room. A hotel we spent the last couple of nights at as we attended the Northeast Unschooling Conference (NEUC). Two weekends before we were camping out on a family’s front yard for another, more informal, unschooling gathering.

Here are a few photos from both the NEUC and the Ashleigh’s Campout hopefully they will tide you over until I can put together the interviews I did here at the conference and a number of other blog entries I’m working on.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

Here goes…

• Californians may jail parents of truant kids, read about it here.
• Philly requires bloggers to pay up…for a LICENSE.
• Cool video about unschooling featuring Peter Gray.
• McCain is really going to try again.
• The war is over! NO…those…um… aren’t combat troops.
• The Scary School Nightmare
• The whole Pinky Show website, how the hell did I ever miss that?
• the time of the Minority Report is quickly approaching
• Someone on the Internet is WRONG

Well, that’s the first installment. Please let me know what you think of this little idea…and if you have any suggestions don’t forget to message/email me.

Peace,

Kelly

SO much going on lately!! Most of it great…we’ve had some bumps in the road but who hasn’t? Here are a couple of quick highlights. You’ll likely be hearing about more about a lot of these things in upcoming blog entries.

• We are headed to the Northeast Unschooling Conference this week.
• I’ll be interviewing both Ren Allen & Peter Gray @ the conference
• I get to see my young friend Erica Goldson in a few days & I’m thrilled she’ll get to meet Jeff & the kids!
• My gallery exhibit will be showing through November 1st if you haven’t seen it yet there is still opportunity. Check out the info here.
• I have only TWO months left on my Something Beautiful project (taking 10,000 photos in one year’s time) and close to 4,000 photos left to take!!
• I wrote my first magazine article this past week. I’ll post a link when I have one to post
• I’m working on my second magazine article this one is unsolicited though so we’ll see if it get’s picked up.
• I have been talking to Ian of Free Talk Live about interviewing HIM. Hopefully that will work out soon too.
• I’m working on a new book…should be done by Christmas, if not sooner.
• And if you haven’t heard California wants to jail parents for kids’ truancy. Seriously, read about it.

There is more but that’s all I’ve got in me tonight.

Peace,

Kelly

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1510 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1572 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1572#comments Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:43:03 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1572

Old Sturbridge Village ~ Sturbridge, MA

Old Sturbridge Village is hosting a Home School Day on September 14th. Jeff, the kids and I attended their last home school day in May. It’s quite a haul to get there, with traffic it took us about three hours. We also didn’t participate in any of the scheduled events (at least not the ones that required we sign up ahead of time).

Overall it was a fun day. Lots to see and do. People walking around in period clothing, engaging actors, animals, things to touch and inspire and if you love photography like I do there were plenty of things to take pictures of. If you have the time and/or the opportunity I highly recommend the place. We were lucky enough to even run into some of our online friends…making them real life friends.

Here are just a few shots from our trip with a link at the bottom if you’d like to see more.

If you are interested in seeing the rest of the photos from our day at Sturbridge Village you can do so here.

As always thanks for reading checking out the blog and if you do go come back and tell me about it.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1572 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1566 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1566#comments Tue, 17 Aug 2010 18:19:23 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1566

When we were in Albany we stopped in at the local Barnes & Noble one of the only two nights out we had while there. It was a huge one with a big kids/games/homeschooling section. Xoey saw a Klutz Shrinky Dinks Jewelry making kit complete with directions/patterns/ideas. It was rather expensive so we/she didn’t end up picking it up. But she took the time to look through the book and get some idea.

Last Friday when we were in the Portsmouth/Newington area for the gallery show. Xoey asked to check out Michaels to see if they had any Shrinky Dinks stuff. They did. They sell just the sheets and Xoey had some of her own money so she decided to get two packages of the sheets. It cost her less than half of what the kit would cost.

Since Friday she has been an art machine cranking out all kinds of fun little pieces including: dog and cat tags, model of her bedroom-to-be on the bus,  door signs, tags/labels for boxes, random little signs and these little dolls…

She also read that you can actually use an inkjet printer to print designs right on the Shrinky Dink paper. We talked about printing some of my photos on the paper and making little earring and stuff out of them.

I love collaborative art. I’ll be sure to post some of our creations either here and/or on facebook.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1566 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1551 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1551#comments Sat, 14 Aug 2010 15:21:31 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1551

Yesterday we headed back to New Hampshire from a job in Albany, NY. A job which has taken up a great deal of our time and energy over the last month. We were winding things up last night but there is still stuff the family (and/or someone) needs to do on the project. It’s one of those things, you’re done but it’s not done. Which makes it all the more draining.

Our immediate reason for heading back to New Hampshire was my first gallery opening so things were positive on that end. I’ve never had my work hung in a gallery before. I had no idea how any of it works. I wasn’t even really planning on trying to get my work into a gallery. That was just something that hadn’t even occurred to me.

What happened was I messaged Jeanne’ McCartin, who writes a gossip column for Seacoast Online, about our book. She messaged me back saying, That’s funny. I’ve been meaning to contact you. About my photos, as it was. She manages a gallery in Portsmouth and was interested in my work, specifically my little creatures.

The inspiration for those little creatures sort of grew out of two things. My Something Beautiful (10,000 Photos) and the passing of my grandfather last March.

The music of NeedToBreathe, specifically their album The Heat and song More Time, got Jeff and I through the writing of Skeletons Don’t Sleep. We actually sat up late nights writing and listening to that song over and over until we finished the book. So, when we were done the book and I needed something positive to focus on to augment the darker subject of child sexual assault I started taking more photos. Then NeedToBreathe came out with the song, Something Beautiful.

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I’m in reach
‘Cause I am down on my knees, I’m waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

I felt like the lyrics were meant for me. It inspired me to try taking photos of *things* every day (people had always been my subject of choice) things people go about their days and miss. Things that were/are beautiful but we often miss. I took photos of landscapes, flowers, stars, snow, trees, paths and so much more…

Then when Grampy passed. I started looking even closer. I took close-ups not just of the flowers but felt a drive to capture the bugs on the flowers too. As I saw the uniqueness and beauty of so many different creatures I had before overlooked. I got a little obsessed. Now it’s become sort of it’s own project. In the beginning it felt as though Grampy (who wanted to be an entomologist when he was a kid) was whispering in my ear… Hey! Come here, check out this one or Oh, this one is great. Can you get closer? Now my kids and Jeff and everyone really help me find the bugs!

So, here we were driving back to New Hampshire for the purpose of going to my first ever (serendipitous) gallery opening and the conversation between Jeff and I drifts to Grampy. We both miss him so much. About three minutes into the conversation Jeff says, Do you want to stop by and see Barbara later in the week? Barbara is Grampy’s wife, my step grandmother. I replied, Yes, I think I’d like that. I think she would like that.

No sooner had the words parted my lips than a song began to play.

I was so caught up in the conversation I had completely forgotten we even had the radio on. Then all of a sudden it was all I could hear. I felt it in my whole body, my soul. Tears began to well up in my eyes and slowly it built by the second verse, I was in full sob…and driving.

And the water is risin’ quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can’t be sure when it will subside
So I won’t leave your side, no I can’t leave your side

Kelly? Are you okay? You’re starting to scare us here.

I love you. I’m sorry. I’m okay. It’s okay.

I came back to earth, though I’m not entirely sure where I went. Or what it was that came to me but it felt so wonderful, powerful, and beautiful, I can’t begin to do it justice with the limitations of my words.

We met my parents at the opening. My mother was having such a nice time she didn’t want to leave!

Next time I’ll send out the info beforehand so lots of folks can join us for it. Since it was my first time I didn’t know if an “artist reception” was just for the artists or what. Now, I know how it works and would love to have more people come to the next one. For now if you are interested in seeing my work (and a lot of other cool artists’ work, including Philip Cohen’s awesome Portsmouth photos) you can stop by 100 Market St in Portsmouth, New Hampshire from now through the end of October. If you like a piece drop me an email and it’s yours.

Right now I feel so incredibly blessed with opportunity and surrounded by people that love me. All three kids opted to come over and they gave me a fortune cookie. My very own, filled with love.

It’s truly all, Something Beautiful.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

You can read the text at Erica’s blog.

Dinner for Schmucks, promo photo

I did put a mask on for about five minute but found it too itchy and thought it was hard to breathe. Griffin helped me (no sweeping just carrying boxes upstairs and outside) but thankfully only for a very short time.

Last night I was coughing and coughing and coughing. I did not feel myself at all. I started getting a little nervous and looked up exposure to mouse droppings. And guess what came up. It’s dangerous and there is nothing you can do but wait and see. I haven’t had any kind of flu-like symptoms but I’m sore as hell and my chest has been heavy since yesterday. I feel like a freakin’ idiot.

I am a cautious person. It’s not like I’m some kind of throw caution to the wind person. I may appear that way but I usually have thought and thought and analyzed the risks and benefits of whatever it is I’m doing. That goes doubly so when it comes to health and physical risk. I’m cautious. I’m also not one to freak out at the slightest boo boo. Generally, I downplay symptoms and physical problems…when it comes to myself even more so but this time I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was at least a little worried.

If you EVER have to clean a garage, basement, whatever, with mouse poop, please take precautions and bleach it and wear a mask. Don’t assume you’ll be fine. You might be but why risk it? At a minimum you’ll save yourself the stress of wondering whether you will be.

And…in a very amusing and surreal twist…Jeff and I decided to take the kids to a movie for a break from the work. We picked Dinner for Schmucks. We chose the movie because it was a comedy (we needed some laughs) and it stars Paul Rudd and Steve Carell. That is ALL we knew about the movie, never saw a preview.

You could imagine my surprise when we made when the opening scene featured a man creating art pieces with taxidermies of mice.

The movie is about a man, who wants to impress his girlfriend and get a promotion at work. He gets an invite to an exclusive dinner with the bosses. The participants are supposed to invite an idiot. I’ve been feeling like an idiot myself since last night. The the idiot he chooses makes art with dead mice. The movie was hilarious but it was one of those odd coincidences that made me feel like I was in the middle of some surreal dream.

Why did we pick that movie? We rarely go to see a comedy in the theater. We usually reserve the theater for special effects and/or action drama, comedies are watched at home on the couch.

I guess I’m the idiot with the dead mice but at least I got to laugh with my family tonight and even though I’m concerned, I’ll likely be just fine.

Peace,

Kelly

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1523 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1516 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1516#comments Mon, 09 Aug 2010 04:03:46 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1516

Jeff and I have been going like crazy lately. We have been driving back and forth to Albany, NY to help a fellow homeschooling family get their house cleaned out and ready to put on the market. I’ve had to get ready for the gallery showing and have some writing and computer related obligations. We are also trying to get the trailer we live in ready for the next renters at the same time get ourselves ready to take the kids out on the road before fall hits. In short we’ve been going going going.

The last week and a half I noticed I haven’t been entirely present. My excuse? Well, how could I? At least with all this stuff going on!?

The answer. Suck it up. Don’t make excuses and BE PRESENT.

Lately the kids have suffered. Not suffered in the deprived sense because where we are staying in Albany actually has way MORE amendities than we do at home. At home we have no electricity and no running water! Here the kids have internet, computer, cable tv, electricity, hot showers, a huge pool and more. But they haven’t had US. I mean they’ve been right here with us but we haven’t really been available. We’ve been busy, busy working on the house we are staying in.

The thing is even with all of these things available to them what they seem to care more about is hanging out with us. Talking to us. As a result they have been bickering more with each other and we’ve all been snappier than usual, myself included. In fact I’ve really just been downright bitchy at times.

This evening I got a unintended little reminder.

After we had been working non-stop for the previous 10 hours, moving, packing, lifting, cleaning etc. Jeff and I went out on the back porch to eat and I decided, spontaneously, to do a little sidewalk art. One by one the kids crowded around. They asked question after question. What are you drawing? Are you using the sidewalk paint? Are you going to put yellow there? Why are you using green? Is it the sun burning up the ground?

Not long after they all grabbed their own chalk and picked their own little piece of sidewalk to decorate. And all was calm. They smiled together. I relaxed and breathed. I put aside all that was before me and all that might be ahead of me to enjoy…

The feeling of the chalk on my finger tips, the laughs of my children, the reassuring looks from Jeff, the warm evening air, the feelings of joy and togetherness. But most of all I felt gratitude for the reminder of what I hold most dear, my relationships with my husband and my children - something I haven’t entirely been mindful of these past couple of weeks.

Thankfully, everything is a choice (including our moods!) so I have the power to create a better tomorrow.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1516 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1490 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1490#comments Fri, 06 Aug 2010 16:10:33 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1490

A few weeks ago, Wolfgang got an opportunity to interview PJ O’Rourke. I didn’t post immediately because I was hoping to edit the video some, clean up the audio and such. I didn’t get it done so I figured why not just post it raw!

Next time I’ll work on getting better audio and video as I film so I don’t have to stress about editing! Anyway without further ado, here is the video AND the transcription. They discuss, homeschooling, bailouts, the Gulf Coast, journalism and Ron Paul.

ENJOY…

Wolf: You’ve got a new book called, Driving Like Crazy. I’ll be getting my license soon do you have any recommendations?

PJ: Yeah, don’t read it. (laughs) Everything in there is something you shouldn’t do with your new driver’s license. Buy it by all means of course. I mean I’m in the book selling business but let it set for 15 years ’til your, you know, over 30 - and then read it.

Wolf: Okay. What do you think of the situation in the Gulf?

PJ: Mmm. Oh, the Gulf of Mexico. I was thinking of the Persian Gulf…two very complicated situations. Um. Every thing we do for progress entails costs and risks there is no doubt about it. Even the simplest things like learning to read.

When we…when the human race learned to read they lost certain abilities to memorize and they lost a whole section of oral culture that was very valuable. I mean nobody wrote down the Iliad until about 500 years after somebody came up with. So, we don’t know what the Iliad was really like we lost the ability - when we gained the ability to read. So, it’s a shame, it’s awful, it should be fixed, if somebody did something wrong they should be liable for it and all that but we can’t expect human progress without costs and risks.

And I spent a long time as a foreign correspondent, 20 years foreign correspondent. I’ve seen a lot of really severe poverty and my biggest worry is about people being…not having enough to eat, of dying from simple diseases, of not having a place to live. The world’s biggest problem is poverty and the answer to poverty is progress. The only way to progress is from enterprise and you can’t do it without risks and costs.

I guess, suck it up is the ah - (laughs)

Wolf: How do you feel about homeschooling? Do you think it needs more regulations or less?

PJ: I don’t think it needs to be regulated. I’m all for it and I think that what homeschooling is in many cases is the creation in the home of an expensive private education, for a lot less money. We send our kids to a very small school, only 100 kids in the school, one class per grade, no more than 10 kids in a class - maybe 12. They all know each other personally. It’s sort of homeschooling away from home, is what it is.

Um, if we didn’t have that school available and if we couldn’t afford, though it’s not terribly expensive - it’s still not free, we would homeschool. In preference to public schooling, especially at the higher grades. Where we see public schooling falling down is as the kids get into more complicated things, things that need moral guidance, things that need discussion.

Then when you’ve got a set curriculum, maybe an uninvolved teacher, a large class, maybe a disruptive behavior - it starts to fall apart.

Wolf: How do you feel about requiring journalists to have a license and the government bailing out newspapers?

PJ: Well, as an unlicensed journalist, obviously I’m not in favor of going back to J school, which I never went to. I was an English major. I never took a journalism class in my life.

Um. Journalism is a trade. It’s not a profession and it’s not brain surgery. It’s a trade, like bricklaying, like being a carpenter. There is only one way to learn it which is by doing it. Used to be…some of the most famous journalists in the 20th century, guys like H. L. Mencken never went to college. They went straight from highschool. Highschool was a little more rigorous than it is now but they went straight from highschool to jobs as [inaudible] reporters.

It is a craft. And it used to be mostly a craft for people like myself that came out of working class backgrounds and if you didn’t want to get up early in the morning and lift things you could either become a priest or a journalist. (laughs) So, you had to decide which - which - you know whether you liked - woman and booze or just booze. (laughs)

Um, as for the government bailing out newspapers. The government shouldn’t be bailing out anything, really. I understand the impulse. I mean, you hate to see people out of work and if you are in government you feel it’s like your job to mitigate human suffering. But the real genius of capitalism isn’t the success it’s the real genius of capitalism is failure. If something is a bad idea, it doesn’t work.

So, if you for instance buy and ice cream truck drive it around the neighborhood, in New Hampshire, in February, and you didn’t get any sales. Capitalism is telling you, you had a stupid idea. You don’t want the government to come in there and bail you out, buy your ice cream.

Wolf: Do you consider yourself a libertarian?

PJ: Yeah, with a small l. Because capital L, Libertarians tend to rely on logic to the exclusion of almost everything else. And human life is not completely logical and we’re not that smart. Also, capital L, Libertarians tend to be a lot more - I mean - I go to church. And that’s like that’s not logical enough for many capital L, Libertarians. Many capital consider that to be illogical.

Also politics is illogical because it’s just people. It’s just people getting together. There is no starting point for politics. We’ve been getting together since we came down out of the trees. And politics will never end. There’s no, purpose to politics, really, except that we get along with each other. There is no overall purpose.

This sounds like a cynical thing to say but I don’t mean it that way - I mean - I simply mean that politics is the way people get along with each other and sort out their relationships. And naturally because emotions come into play it can’t all be rigidly logical.

And some capital L, Libertarians want it all to be rigidly logical.  I just don’t think that’s possible.

Wolf: Did you grow up wanting to be involved in politics?

PJ: Yes, my family was very political. Um, my great grandfather was a county sheriff in Illinois, very involved in Republican politics from back in the 19th century. So I got that whole side. My father - they weren’t as structured about it but they were - my grandfather was a small business man in a very union town and that turned him into a Republican.

Nothing was really well articulated but being very conservative because he had experienced - had trouble with all the sense of [inaudible] stuff. So it made him very conservative. He wasn’t very articulate.

My grandmother on my mother’s side was very articulate conservative and my grandfather was inarticulate conservative. Damn the all, kind of thing. (laughs) But I definitely grew up around politics.

Wolf: Do you think Ron Paul is going to run in 2012?

PJ: Um. I don’t know. I don’t know. It seems sort of that once they get bit by the itch to - ah - once they get the itch to run it’s very - ah - the have keep scratching it. All I can say about that is I have a great deal of respect for the man. We do have to face the fact that when it comes down to presidents, there can only be one president. And we can take a little lesson from the Democrats here - ah - Al Gore would have been president had it not been for Ralph Nader and so one thing I hope that Paul won’t do is run in such a way that we get a president maybe not as good as him but maybe a lot worse than the alternative.

You see, there is a real practical side to politics. You can’t always get the person you want. And of course you can’t always count on the person you want staying the person you want. The office changes him.

Wolf: Yeah, like Obama.

PJ: Ask any leftist about Obama. They are very very deeply disappointed with Obama. Because the circumstances, the fact of being president made him move toward the center. It may not look like that to us but to people that are way to the left of him.

Wolf: If you don’t mind me asking, would you vote for Ron Paul?

PJ: It would depend on the circumstances. Yes, if I felt he had a chance of winning. No, if I felt that voting for him would cause the worst of two evils.

Wolf: And that’s it. Thank-you!

PJ: You’re welcome. It’s good to meet you.

Thanks so much for taking the time to watch/listen/read about this little taste of our unschooling life.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

Sometimes it feels like we are going nowhere, like nobody is ever going to pick up our book or we are never going to be able to get our bus and get on the road. We might not all feel that way. We might not all feel like that. But we all feel it sometimes.

A couple of weeks ago I messaged a woman, Jeanné McCartin who writes a gossip column for a local paper, about our book, Skeletons Don’t Sleep. I was hoping to get a little press for the book. Instead what happened is the woman replied to my inquiry with, Funny, I was going to contact you about some of your photos for an exhibit at 100 Market. Great stuff.

Cool!

As a result I have my very first gallery showing later this month. I’m pretty excited about it.

Some other really wonderful things seem to be blooming in my life. My blog seems to be exploding with activity. People are reading! Readership grows between 25-50% every month since I started writing again. Last month I had over 1450 unique visitors. I think that’s pretty freakin’ cool. In the past couple of days I was asked to be a contributor for a news site put together by women, a request to write an article for a magazine and an offer to participate in a conference next year (no, not speaking…I suck at speaking).

I’ve lined a few things up for myself too that hopefully will come to fruition over the next few months. I’ll fill you in more as those little pieces start to blossom.

In the meantime Jeff, the kids and I are finishing up the work here in Albany (we are helping a family move and get their house market ready) and are heading home for the weekend. On this trip home we hope to reserve our bus.

With a little luck you’ll be seeing us driving around the country talking to families about education and freedom in no time!

Even though sometimes we feel like we are going nowhere all we need to do is look around and experience our present. If we can do that the whole world of potential and opportunity opens up to us and we can more clearly see exactly where it is we are going.

Thank-you so much for taking time out of your life to read my little blog.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

I was sitting driving down this road with Zoe yesterday. Trying to find my way back to the house we are working on in Albany. I took a wrong turn again! I had written down the directions but seemed to flub it up somehow anyway. I wasn’t lost, this time, but I had missed a critical turn which ended up costing me a good 15 minutes extra. In the end we made it back just fine, no worse for the wear. Just tired.

My mind and our discussion in the car drifted to directions and navigation systems. Jeff recently remarked that we should pick up a navigation system when we have a few extra dollars because we could use one in the bus when we start really traveling.

We had a great system in the Suburban. It saved us an incredible amount of time. It wasn’t always right, of course, and we did end up lost a few times but never as badly as we did without the navigation.

I posed the question, What if I wasn’t allowed to have a navigation system?

That would just be stupid. Zoe responded.

Why?

Because it not like you can’t get around without one it’s just that you’d probably get lost less.

My mind circled around to calculators. I recently read a discussion on facebook where one mother was talking about having her homeschooled daughter figure out some simple math. The mother emphatically stated, And A’s never allowed to use a calculator. She has to figure the math out herself!

I remember thinking it was silly but as I was driving and having this discussion with Zoe I began to think of it even a little deeper. Was it even logical? Doesn’t the child have to know how to use a calculator? Or better yet one of the more modern tools like a cell phone, iTouch or similar device? Maybe all these steps that we require in between aren’t really steps? Maybe they are just obstacles? Something I talked about with Erica Goldson in our discussion.

Maybe denying children calculators is the same idea as denying them navigation systems. I mean I had thought that before but not quite so deeply.

One might argue if we *allow* children to use calculators for simple math then how are they going to learn it?! And I reply by living life and having some desire or NEED to do so. How often do you bring a calculator with you to the grocery store? Sure some people do but most of us don’t which creates a need/desire to add things up as we go (to make sure we have enough money). Maybe we need to divide up a food for a party. Either way we figure it out ourselves or we ask for help.

Just as we do if our navigation system is broken or we are borrowing another’s vehicle without it.

We all, generally speaking, get to our final calculations (& destinations) differently. Jeff and I are forever doing math together: calculating elevation, scale, how many tiles, square footage, weight of roofing tiles and such. Just as often we marvel at how differently we reach the same calculations. Oh, I did it this way. I added then subtracted or I just multiplied and used this formula or I don’t get it, how did you find that number? It’s always a friendly exciting exchange. I can’t say we are as friendly when it comes to directions. Although, there is the occasional smile and It always surprises me how you get places. I would just go a completely different way.

I’m sure I’m not the only one to have made this specific connection but it was a moment of deepening understanding and connection for me.

Just think of how many other places this concept could be applied and how deeply we are holding back our children and ourselves by forcing everyone to navigate their way through obstacles without the modern day tools available.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1472 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1454 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1454#comments Mon, 02 Aug 2010 05:51:54 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1454

It was July 19th. Jeff and I were settling down for the night. He was reading. I was blogging/surfing. A friend on facebook had posted a link to a speech. Not just any speech. This one was written by a valedictorian at a High School in Athens, NY. Less than a paragraph before I stopped reading to ask Jeff if I could share it with him, he agreed.

And so I read.

…Yet, here I stand, and I am supposed to be proud that I have completed this period of indoctrination…

That was the first line that choked me up. I took a deep breath, continued reading. My voice quivering as tears rolled down my cheeks

…I will leave in the fall to go on to the next phase expected of me, in order to receive a paper document that certifies that I am capable of work. But I contend that I am a human being, a thinker, an adventurer – not a worker. A worker is someone who is trapped within repetition – a slave of the system set up before him. But now, I have successfully shown that I was the best slave…

How was this young woman able to stand in front of so many people: peers, teachers, parents, community…. and  and ….to be able to say this…this TRUTH!? I difficulty even getting through reading it to my husband!

One of my favorites was this:

To illustrate this idea, doesn’t it perturb you to learn about the idea of “critical thinking?” Is there really such a thing as “uncritically thinking?” To think is to process information in order to form an opinion. But if we are not critical when processing this information, are we really thinking? Or are we mindlessly accepting other opinions as truth?

The buzz term “critical thinking” is one of the many phrases/words I’ve been ranting about over the last couple of years. And that the first time I heard someone else expressing that same (particular) frustration. The entire speech was not only evocative but compelling. It left me with a strong desire to talk with the person who wrote it.

I looked her up on facebook and sent her a message. I asked if she would be willing to do an interview with me for my blog? She replied saying not only would she but that she would also love to talk to me about unschooling.

And as coincidence would have it Jeff and I were asked to do some work in Albany, not far from the town where she lives. We decided to meet, in person.

On the way I decided I didn’t want to just interview her. I wanted to have a conversation with her. Since she had expressed interest in talking with me too, I asked how she felt about just recording a conversation instead of a traditional interview. She agreed and it seemed fitting since we both have a similar idea of how learning happens through communication and experiences as opposed to teaching and preaching.

You can listen to the whole conversation here:

Erica_Goldson_talks_with_Kelly_Halldorson_in_Albany_Coffee_Shop_July_27_2010.MP3

I also got some video* which I’ll post later, after I post Wolfgang’s PJ O’Rourke interview. But since Erica is the talk of the town right now, I thought people would like to at least hear this. It’s a discussion, so there is lots of me talking too. And I haven’t cleaned up the audio yet but you can hear us both pretty well.

We talk about her speech, inspiration, school, college, majors, life, foreign policy, liberty, corporations, NEA, teaching to a test, solutions, economics, commune, experience and so much more. If anyone is up for transcribing it before I get around to it PLEASE…send me a note…so I can link it here.

The funny thing is we talked for two hours. Maybe even a little more before and after I started recording. I still feel like there was so much more to be learned all around. I would have probably sat there talking for four hours, so much more to be discussed.

Erica told me it was her first official interview. I most certainly won’t be the last. This woman is going somewhere. She has a inspiring mind. I feel so lucky it all fell into place and allowed me the opportunity. The request for work we got less than 30 minutes from where she lived…right at the right time.

Serendipity. It’s a beautiful thing.

I was so very inspired by this lovely young woman. I’m grateful to have had such an opportunity not only to meet and talk with her but to have made a connection that I believe was the beginnings of a good friendship.

Thank-you Erica!

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

*The video will be mostly Erica and her lovely thoughts. So, if you don’t have 2 hours to listen to this conversation you can wait for the video! It will be a LOT shorter.

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1454 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1443 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1443#comments Wed, 28 Jul 2010 16:12:21 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1443

Jeff came across this article in the Economist. The quotes in this entry are all from that article.

THREE pickup trucks pulled up outside George Norris’s home in Spring, Texas. Six armed police in flak jackets jumped out. Thinking they must have come to the wrong place, Mr Norris opened his front door, and was startled to be shoved against a wall and frisked for weapons. He was forced into a chair for four hours while officers ransacked his house. They pulled out drawers, rifled through papers, dumped things on the floor and eventually loaded 37 boxes of Mr Norris’s possessions onto their pickups. They refused to tell him what he had done wrong. “It wasn’t fun, I can tell you that,” he recalls.

Six armed police officers that refused to tell him what he had done wrong. What did he do, you ask?

Mr Norris was 65 years old at the time, and a collector of orchids. He eventually discovered that he was suspected of smuggling the flowers into America, an offence under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species.

Can you imagine being locked up and called an international smuggling King Pin over orchids? Yes, orchids! FLOWERS?! Might that be an overreaction? How are any one of us made safer by that? What exactly are we protected from?

When so many people are technically breaking the law, it is up to prosecutors to decide whom to pursue.

When so many people are technically breaking the law is right. I’d argue that nearly every single adult in America breaks laws on a daily basis, probably a good amount of children too. Don’t believe me? Try me. Tell me where you live and talk to me about your life. I bet you I can find at least five laws you’ve broken over the last week, alone.

Why have laws if we are going to enforce them arbitrarily? That sets up for corruption and gives government and the enforcers scary power, something I argue here. Need we be reminded police, judges and prosecutors are all just people. They are humans vulnerable, moody and flawed like each and every one of us?

“You’re (probably) a federal criminal,” declares Alex Kozinski, an appeals-court judge, in a provocative essay of that title. Making a false statement to a federal official is an offence. So is lying to someone who then repeats your lie to a federal official. Failing to prevent your employees from breaking regulations you have never heard of can be a crime. A boss got six months in prison because one of his workers accidentally broke a pipe, causing oil to spill into a river. “It didn’t matter that he had no reason to learn about the [Clean Water Act’s] labyrinth of regulations, since he was merely a railroad-construction supervisor,” laments Judge Kozinski.

What do you think? Might we be unnecessarily imprisoning people? What kind of offences do you think should be punishable by lock-up? Does it do anyone any good locking up NON-violent criminals?

Jim Felman, a defence lawyer in Tampa, Florida, says America is conducting “an experiment in imprisoning first-time non-violent offenders for periods of time previously reserved only for those who had killed someone”.

Non-violent offenders. Why are these people even locked up? I mean that. Really think about it, what good comes of it?

“The founders viewed the criminal sanction as a last resort, reserved for serious offences, clearly defined, so ordinary citizens would know whether they were violating the law. Yet over the last 40 years, an unholy alliance of big-business-hating liberals and tough-on-crime conservatives has made criminalisation the first line of attack—a way to demonstrate seriousness about the social problem of the month, whether it’s corporate scandals or e-mail spam,” writes Gene Healy, a libertarian scholar. “You can serve federal time for interstate transport of water hyacinths, trafficking in unlicensed dentures, or misappropriating the likeness of Woodsy Owl.”

Serving time over flowers. Flowers. FLOWERS.

Peace,
Kelly Halldorson

If you are in the New Hampshire area I’m offering a few workshops you might be interested in. The workshops are geared toward homeschooling families teens/adults but are open to others as well. Feel free to contact me for more information and/or to sign up.

The following is a tentative schedule of workshops. I’ll be adding more dates times as feedback comes in. If you don’t find a class/time/date/location that works for you drop me an email and maybe we can work something out. If you are interested I expect these classes to fill up FAST so don’t hesitate. I’ve already gotten tons of emails from folks interested in signing up but I want to keep the size of individual workshops small and manageable. Contact is: skeletons@halldorson.com

I’m willing to travel if you have a group interested and want to organize a class/workshop or series. Don’t stress about the age for classes, I’m flexible.  Let me know your issue and we can work it out. I’m also available for private lessons, contact me for info: kelly@halldorson.com.

I guarantee you’ll get at least a couple shots good enough to hang on your wall and say you took!

Kids are $20. Teens/Adults $30. As with everything I do if you can’t swing it or you have three family members that would like to participate talk to me! I’m sure we can work something out.

Workshop descriptions with sample shots…

Basics Workshop:
composition, camera settings, lighting, things to avoid, people, close-ups, scenery

August 17, 2010 @ Wagon Hill, Durham

(Ages 8-12)     2:30-4:30 pm

(Teen - Adult) 5:00 - 8:00 pm

August 18, 2010 @ Waste Management Trails, Rochester

(Ages 8-12)     2:30-4:30 pm

(Teen - Adult) 5:00 - 8:00 pm

August 19, 2010 @ TBA Manchester

(Ages 8-12)     2:30-4:30 pm

(Teen - Adult) 5:00 - 8:00 pm

Flowers:
close-ups, lighting, distant shots, silhouette, lighting

August 24, 2010 @ Prescott Park, Portsmouth

(Ages 8-12)     2:30-4:30 pm

(Teen - Adult) 5:00 - 8:00 pm

Insects:
shooting the little creatures, macro work, settings, how to get the bug where you want it

August 23, 2010 @ Nottingham Town Offices, Nottingham

(All Ages)  2:30-5:30 pm

People:
how to get great shots of  people, candid or posed

TBA

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

Events:
weddings, parties, concerts, tips on getting good shots photojournalist shots at any event

TBA

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

Artistic Shots:
tune your artistic eye anywhere, seeing everything in a different light

TBA

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

Artistic Shots 2:
setting up shots, thinking creatively on the spot, having fun

TBA

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

Sunsets/Sunrises:
never go wrong with a sunset, what to watch out for how to capture what you see

Wagon Hill, Durham

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

Landscapes:
fields, mountains, streams, trees, farms get great outdoor shots wherever you are

North Berwick Primary School, North Berwick, Maine

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

City Buildings:
learn lighting tricks, angles, patterns for some unique city shots

downtown area, Concord

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

Old Buildings:
run down barns and old houses

TBA

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

Night Sky:
starry night, clouds, moon shots, how to get

TBA

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

City Lights:
glowing street lights reflecting off windows and pavement

TBA

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

Documenting Life/Blogging Shots:
get great shots every day, be ready to take a picture at anytime

TBA

(Ages 8-12) TBA

(Teen - Adult) TBA

There are many more examples where those came from, you can see more here. Feel free to email me questions or suggestions. And if you don’t live in the New Hampshire area but are interested in hosting a series of workshops, contact me! We are planning on doing some traveling so we may be able to arrange something in your area, even if that area is 1,000 miles away.

Peace,

Kelly Halldorson

skeletons@halldorson.com

Did you know there are Damselflies and Dragonflies? Yep, I’ve been observing them closely for nearly two years now and even more closely over the last few months as I’ve chased and photographed so many. I recently picked up a field guide to help me easily identify all the critters I’ve been snapping photos of and there is a section called Dragonflies and Damselflies.

Apparently, according to my new book: Field Guide to INSECTS AND SPIDERS of North America by: Arthur V. Evans and other information I’ve gathered from around the Internet, it’s not as simple as I once thought. You know…big dragonflies and little ones. There are 1,000’s of varieties of both and surprisingly they are pretty simple to tell apart.

Ebony Jewelwing, damselfly

The simplest ways *I* see to tell them apart are

Damselflies:

• body shape, extremely thin - appears more delicate
• wings fold above the body when resting
• eyes more separate

dragonfly

Dragonflies:

• body thinker, more rugged in appearance
• wings rest at sides, often in x pattern
• eyes touching on top of head

Peace,

Kelly

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1326 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1329 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1329#comments Tue, 20 Jul 2010 17:05:42 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1329

Times Square

Not every victim of child sexual assault can hold up a sign in Times Square. Not every victim of sexual assault is comfortable talking about it or getting help. That is one of the many reasons Jeff and I have decided to give our book, Skeletons Don’t Sleep, away free (in digital format) to any and all survivors of child sexual assault. Are you a victim? Would you like a copy? Email Us: skeletons@halldorson.com

We have already given away over 100 copies. We want that number in the 1000’s. We want this book in the hands of every single survivor that needs it.

Want to know a little bit more about the project?

I wrote Skeletons with my husband Jeff. It’s the true account of his childhood sexual assault, our relationship, his father’s arrest through incarceration and the aftermath. The videos tell the story and the quotes are from people who’ve emailed us. It all helps remind us that giving away the book for free is the right thing to do, despite our personal financial struggles.

I am a member of a facebook group called “Stop Child Abuse”. Yesterday as I was looking at the the fan wall and I saw you video “Man With A Sign”. First off: Jeff, you are a very brave man. I, myself, being a child that was sexually abused can understand completely. You are an inspiration to me.

Dear Jeff and Kelly
I received your book. And I could not stop reading it. I read it all and it took me till 3 am.

I am writing from facebook, i would greatly appreciate a free copy of your book. I was abused as a child by a family member. I priced your book to purchase and at this time I can not afford to buy it, I am out of work on medical, just had my 4th cervical spine surgery in feb and suffer chronic pain, so i am limited with income at this point. I am very interested in your book to help me and others.

I just finished the book. I’ve spent much of the past day and a half reading it… obsessively…

I’ve just spent the evening sat in front of my computer in London, reading this from start to finish. Both of you are amazingly inspiring! Thank you so much for sending me a copy of your story.

Kelly: You are a wonderful and powerful woman. You are truly an inspiration as well.

Thank you for this gift and your voice in our world of many who would like to ignore this devastation and turn a blind eye. You are courageous!

If you are a survivor and you want a free digital copy of our book please contact us at skeletons@halldorson.com or on facebook.

Not a survivor but you want to support our efforts? You can buy a copy of Skeletons Don’t Sleep or you can donate to help fund our buy a PRINT book for our survivor program by emailing us at skeletons@halldorson.com.

If you are looking for a little positive, uplifting support/inspiration consider subscribing. We are going to give away a free (print) personalized signed copy to one of my blog subscribers at the end of the summer.

Jeff and I are also available for readings, speaking and discussions. For more information drop us an email at skeletons@halldorson.com.

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1329 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1216 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1216#comments Sat, 17 Jul 2010 04:32:54 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1216

We woke up pretty early because we had to get the plastic on the high tunnel greenhouse we (mostly Jeff) are building before heading to New Castle later in the day so I could take some photos for a Le Leche League brochure.

The temperature was warm but not hot and crisp but not cold. There was no wind. It could not have been more perfect weather to put the plastic on this greenhouse. The plastic came in a gigantic roll that weigh close to 100 lbs, if not more. Jeff had to first get it up to the top and then balance on the spine of the greenhouse as he unrolled it across 72 feet. Once it was unrolled the length of the green house he unfolded the sides and secured them down. We all had to help a little but Jeff really did all the hard work. It was no easy feet, especially seeing as our 80+ year old landlord came down on his tractor to watch. It was pretty nerve-racking but Jeff managed.

High Tunnel Greenhouse, if you need one of these put up anywhere in the US…contact us

While he battened down the sides Zoe and I did a little exploring in the yard. I chased a butterfly got a couple shots and Zoe found a great little green guy, missing a leg.

This may be a Red Spotted Purple. If you know otherwise please let me know and I’ll edit.

this would be Zoe’s find, a young Praying Mantis

It was supposed to start pouring around noon. Thankfully the rain kept away and Jeff was able to work on the greenhouse until I had to leave at 2:00 and head to the ocean. I had plans for a photo shoot. So, he was able to come with us! We stopped at Starbucks on the was for some cool drinks because it had gotten pretty hot at the farm toward the end of our time there.

It was  gorgeous at the beach, not too hot and not too cold. Complete with a cool salty breeze and breathtaking sky.

the sky in New Castle, New Hampshire

I started taking some shots of the kids. Jeff was sweet and played dad in a few of the shots. The theme for the Le Leche League conference I was shooting the promo shots for is, family…building strong families. I haven’t finished going through all the shots yet but while I was there I also tried to get shot of the individual families and/or moms with babies so they could have some pictures for themselves. Here are a few of those.

I have a ton more. I think I took nearly 200 photos. Not all are winners but certainly there should be a good amount to pick from for the conference promo shots. I’m satisfied with the shoot though I always wish I had taken just a few more shots!

It was also was an interesting photo shoot because it was the first time I’ve ever done a “photo shoot” without an SLR. That’s right, for these pictures and all the picture on this entry I used my Canon Digital Elph cameras. I have two.

Canon Digital Elph SD 960 IS

When Jeff, the kids and I were leaving there was another photographer setting up on the beach. He had a flash on a stand, a big family all dressed alike and a huge camera and lens. While I’m not opposed to big set-ups, I’m absolutely positive now that they are not *necessary* and like with many things in life we can often get by with much less than we think and still have a life filled with beauty.

We ordered pizza and picked it up on the way home. We also stopped at the grocery store and Jeff went in to grab a few things, including my new favorite…Truly Yours Bars by Tofutti. While Jeff was in the store the kids and I witnessed what had to have been the closest lightning strike I’ve ever experienced. I saw the actual line in my rear view mirror and while things were still lit up there was an immense BOOM.  It rattled everyone. Jeff said inside the store the lights flickered and people got nervous. He thought the building was struck. The kids thought the car was struck. I think it was just the ground behind the car and right in front of the store.

By the time we got home the storm had well passed over us. It was nearing sunset. I was sitting in the bedroom and suddenly saw the light from outside turn orange. I didn’t get up to look because I figured it was just a cloud passing in front of the sun or something. Then I heard Jeff yell for me to come take a look at something and Griffin shout, WOW! Oh my God!

I jumped up all freaked out but thought enough to grab my camera because generally that’s why people yell for me to come look at stuff these days.

We all walked out onto the front porch and everything and I mean everything was orange. It was as though we were walking into a sunset. It was still and silent and looked as though (one of my facebook friends described it) everything was in sepia. Almost as though you were part of some old silent film with the exception of our own voices. I took a few pictures but they really don’t do the experience justice. It was strangely creepy.

Overall a great day filled with lots of imagery, cool new people, bugs, learning, connections, happiness, ocean, sun, building and so much more. Thanks for letting me share a little taste with you.

Peace,

Kelly

]]> http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1216 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1298 http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1298#comments Fri, 16 Jul 2010 03:50:49 +0000 Kelly Halldorson http://kelly.halldorson.com/blog/?p=1298

Gorgone Checkerspot, Butterfly

If you asked me even as little as three years ago what the difference between a butterfly and a moth I probably would have said, I don’t know. Butterflies are pretty. Moths are icky?

The last couple of years I’ve warmed up a bit. I’ve always kind of liked butterflies but still wasn’t overly thrilled about touching them. My grandfather loved them. He passed away in March. This video is from a visit with him last fall.

His enthusiasm for the little critters along with my Something Beautiful project helped to broaden my comfort level a bit. Not long after his passing I got a bit obsessed with bugs in general. A recent visit to the Butterfly Place and now I’m especially loving the butterflies and the MOTHS! Oh, the moths. They are elusive little buggers.

Today we were at the farm and there were all kinds of little orange butterflies flying around. There have been tons lately but today they were dancing in the air in sets of two, playful and seemingly joyful. It had me wondering if they all just mate on one day. It was that crazy cool.

Mating Gorgone Checkerspot taken in Strafford, NH

Anyway as I was snapping away Bea, our landlord’s partner, came out. She’s in her 80’s. I told her I was totally loving all these beautiful little love-bird butterflies fluttering around. She responded, I don’t think they are butterflies. I think they are moths and I’m not so sure they are good. I read they lay the pesky critter eggs.

With Griffin standing by my side I said, I’m pretty sure they are butterflies. Moths fly at night. That was the one thing I remembered from our visit to the Butterfly Place. I knew there was something about the body too, moths being fatter but it’s not enough for me to notice. BUT one being nocturnal and the other being diurnal, that’s easy to remember.

Griffin piped up, That’s definitely a butterfly. It has skinny antenna and it’s body is thinner. And there are some other things too. It’s a butterfly.

Bea wasn’t convinced, Are you sure? I thought because it’s wings made a tent when it landed that meant it was a moth.

I promised to come back not only with a 100% surety on the moth vs butterfly debate but also I’d be able to tell her what KIND of a butterfly it was. Excited that Griffin seemed to know so much more than me on the topic I asked him to explain the differences to me and asked if he’d gotten that from our visit to the Butterfly Place.

No, well some, I watched a video there but also I just sort have picked it up along the way. Here and there. Kind of all over. Books and stuff too.

It turns out the little cute orange butterflies (the ones pictured above) are American Coppers. They are about an inch with their wings open. And there were literally at least 100 flying around everywhere. It was like orange confetti flew up in the air every time you took a step.

Without further ado I give you some ways to identify a MOTH vs. BUTTERFLY  (with photos) obviously like with everything there may be exceptions

MOTHS

• Fly at NIGHT. They are nocturnal.
• They have FUZZY or pointed antenna
• Chunky FUZZY bodies
• Wings lay flat down onto body
• some moths have pinchers

Atlas Moth taken at the Butterfly Place, see the FUZZY antenna

still working on the name of this guy (will update), check out the thick fuzzy body

Tiger Moth taken in Strafford, NH - found at night, notice how the wings lay and pointy antenna

BUTTERFLIES

• Fly during the day.
• Wings generally rest in upright position
• The bodies are thinner, though I can’t really tell all the time. They look very similar to me.
• antenna are clubbed or straight
• butterflies have straw like tongue
• usually brighter in color

more of those Gorgone Checkerspot, notice the antenna

upright wings, bright color and straw tongue

straw tongue, thin body and upright wings

Well, I hope that helps. I’ll probably update this post a bit so it might be one you want to revisit. I might add some more photos and/or names descriptions. Oh, and Bea thanked us for letting her know what exactly those orange cuties were.

As I was writing this Griffin caught me what we think is a hummingbird moth. I’ll post some photos in the morning. These creatures are fantastic!

Peace,

Kelly

NOTE: It’s funny. It would seem Griffin and I were right about them being butterflies but after a little more information. I think they are actually, Gorgone Checkerspot, NOT American Coppers.

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