When we let go of our attachments to control, desired outcome, expectations and the like we can begin to live an unscripted life. For years I fought it. I still do at times. The difference now is I have the support of my husband. He has chosen to do the same. Let go of his need for control. He falters, as do we all, but with the lessening of attachments comes a peace and connection that is simply beautiful.

I’ve had some fabric for years. Some hemp fabric I bought for a very specific purpose. I had these bags I wanted to make and sell. These crunchy perfect bags. I never had everything I needed (like a sewing machine, for one - LOL) to get it done. I fussed over what the end product would be. I fought making these bag for literally years. I always had a reason not to do it. So, the fabric sat. I came up with other ideas. Other projects I wanted to make with the fabric but I was so attached to the idea of these bags I never got around to making ANY OF THEM…I just couldn’t bring myself to use the fabric.

A couple of weeks ago. I picked up some hemp embroidery thread, some needles and grabbed some scissors and the hemp. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to make the bag/s I originally intended but I thought it would be kind of cool to make a messenger bag of sorts. Something to put the put the published book (by the way there are only 11 days left to donate!) in.

I didn’t look for a pattern. I didn’t even design the thing before I started. The most I did was make sure it would fit the book. That’s it, otherwise, I cut and I sewed. And the end result is kind of cool! I’m actually really pleased with it. It’s made entirely of hemp or reused fabric. The denim and the flower are both from old jeans and the brown fabric is from an old Bamboo tshirt. I didn’t stress about finishing it or anything related to it. If I forgot the stuff to work on it, I didn’t. I figured if it came out cool, great. If it didn’t, I could always try again.

I’ve always sort of cooked this way too. Except I’d freak out a bit as far as my attachment to a perfect end product. When you cook vegetarian or vegan food for non-vegetarians (like Jeff) the expectations are higher. A couple of days ago Zoe asked me to make her some kind of soup. I decided to make corn chowder. Since I made it for her it was easier to let go of the anxiety about making it. She’s vegan right now too.

It came out delish! Although, the picture does look kind of icky. It was yummy and completely vegan. Jeff even liked it. No recipe and I completely just made it up as I went along. It turned out so well I’m going to post the non-recipe. But it will have to be tomorrow because Jeff is looking to go to bed.

Peace & Goodnight…
Kelly Halldorson